Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Whoa. It seems like only yesterday we were winding down toward 2013 Christmas and New Year's celebrations and now we're in 2014 and in the same position! 

Seriously wow. Where does time go exactly? 

I do have a theory if you'd like to hear it?

Wait.  Why am I asking you? This is a blog. If you're not interested, you'll just click away. However, if you have a curious mind, then read on.....​

So, I figure "where does the time go?" might just be quite similar to my washing machine, or at least have something significant to do with it. 

Yes, you read that right. And no, I'm not crazy. That I know of.

My theory;
Whenever my washing machine is off balance, it rocks around like it's in a mosh pit pogoing to punk music, similar to how life goes when things are not going so well.  

When my washing machine is balanced however, it's smooooth sailing. I can make it play Christmas music with a complicated amount of button presses whilst standing on one leg and I can even add in fabric softener if I want my clothes to feel cudderee for me. 
(click this link TV Advert for this statement to make sense) 

But it is the tenuous love/hate relationship it has with my socks where my theory of "where does time go" comes into play. 
Yes, I can see you nodding already.

So take a moment, think about it a bit more. If time is so elusive AND so is the mystery of missing socks, then doesn't it stand to reason that the two enigma's might be related??

I am almost convinced that wherever time does go? I'm betting that place has the exact amount of odd socks that I do. 
Now if only I can get there without having to step through a wardrobe with ski-boots on. 
Yes Narnia, I'm looking at you. ​

Anyway, back on track.

Christmas (or January/February) holidays are a time where you can just relax and begin to decompress from all that stress and intensity you've handled throughout the last 12 months as well as look back and celebrate on the wins you may have had, small or large as they may be. 

It's also an excellent time to spend that much needed quality time (or tolerance time) with your family and friends.  How often is Life so busy that you are forced to overlook the little things? How often do you have to keep on keeping on so you don't get time to sit down with your kids/grand-kids/nieces/nephews or random children and play a board game?  

Or set up the sprinkler in the backyard for them to jump through? 

Or maybe just having the patience to listen through one of their terrible jokes that starts with the punch line, then has an "oops" and then comes back with hysterical giggling for the back story?

I have to say my favourites are delivered by my step son Finn. He loves to try and be funny any chance he gets. Add any kind of sugar product and he's almost inconsolable in his mischievous giggling.  Now his jokes are almost always fart or bum related – and no, don't look at me like that either. 
I'll take this quick moment to remind you that yes, I just might be that "my Dad is tougher than your Dad" Dad in all those stories you've heard. I'm sure you're picking up what I'm putting down here now and I suggest you hang your head in shame. 

Fart jokes ARE funny and I won't hear otherwise. 

But I digress (again).
  

Now like me, I'm betting at this time of year you're juuuuuust starting to wind down and feel that "far out, I need a break dude" for all the hard work you've put in over this last 12 months. 

I'm also betting you've been getting a little bit more tired last few weeks, maybe been feeling a bit less tolerant with those closest to you than say Jan through October or perhaps you've been burning the candle at both ends and feeling a bit worse for wear all of a sudden.  Or maybe you haven't been feeling any of those things and you're feeling more rambunctiously awesome in fact than ever!

Either way, now is the time for you to realise that this time of year can be both hard for some (especially those of us who have lost people), ho-hum for some and great for others.  

Now is the time for empathy and understanding, not to mention reaching out if you yourself need some help or even just some company during this time of year.

With all this in mind, I'd like to put a little something out there for you to consider regardless of which camp you've fallen into. No, it's not anything new, ground-breaking or original by any means but it will make a difference for both yourself and those around you if you choose to roll with it.  

So what is it? 

I would like to challenge you to; 

​

Pay something (anything) forward.  

Yes. Be better. Think better. Make a positive difference for someone where you make no personal gain whatsoever.  It can be a genuine kind word, a cup of coffee, anything, to a stranger, a friend, anyone. 

But don't be anonymous. 

That's right. Don't.

In order to make a difference, you actually have to be present in the moment. Human conversation, human contact.  It's not that difficult, it simply takes awareness and empathy on your part. 

Sure, it might feel awkward, yes it might feel uncomfortable but I assure you, it will enrich the person's day, if even only for a moment.

But that's it. That's your challenge. Give it a go. I'm absolutely going to. 

In fact I've already (with my beautiful fiance Andrea) carried out a good deed by helping someone move house to get out of an unhealthy relationship. It wasn't much for us to help her but it made a world of difference to her and all it took was a few hours of our time, my car, some gas and us paying for the trailer which was all of about $35.  

I hope this inspires someone out there in blog reading land (YOU) to open your eyes to the world around you so you can see perhaps the plight of someone less fortunate than you, or perhaps someone who is just having a bad day.

Now as a final wind up for 2014, this is the last blog I'll be posting for the year and I want to wish you and your family the greatest of all Christmas's and an even better New Year for 2015. 

​So a massive season's greetings to you, my friend!  Have a good one and we'll no doubt catch up in the New Year. 

And now that all that's done and dusted….pull my finger.

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!

Congratulations to Cassy!!

Cassy was drawn out of a hat (well actually both my hands cupped to hold all 42 names) and works in the same business as me, however in a vastly different part. 

She was very happy to win, gained a round of applause from myself and few in my team and is an excellent recipient of the first round having been a long term reader and follower of the "Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight" intranet blog I write for my work place.

I am sure you will all join me in wishing Cassy congratulations!

Have a great day!!

Darren

Who will win the Samurai Jack?

Samurai Jack figure is up for grabs 

TODAY!!

In a few hours time I will be drawing the name of the person who will inherit the Samurai Jack figurine.  Will it be you? Have you signed up to follow me? If not, no, it won't be you at all.

to be in the draw

YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW ME BY EMAIL.

sign up now.

My old band recordings plus a new track

No More (original track)

Fallen From Grace (original track)

Aenima (Tool cover sample)

A Toute Le Monde (Megadeth acoustic cover)

Lightning Crashes (Live semi-unplugged cover)

Back when I was frontman in a band named "Humbucka" for the first three tracks - our band was named after the active pickups on an electric guitar. 

"Fallen from Grace" and "No More" were two original songs written by myself and the Lead Guitarist Glen Peters, little bit grunge, little bit rock. We could've gone somewhere I reckon, a good team.

Glen and I also covered a few other songs (the other links) prior to us forming the band with the drummer (Jappa) and bassist (Flange). Our band went its separate ways early 2000.

The quality of the sound is not the greatest given they were all recorded with a tape-deck in the open space of the warehouse that we lived in...but you get the idea.

The next track below is a more recent addition (last month) with myself and some friends from work (2 x guitarists) working on a Jeff Healey track I really like.

Hoochie Coochie Man (cover) RnB track

Enjoy!

Google +

A link to my Google + page.

https://plus.google.com/u/0/108899641923622890619/posts/p/pub

Getting Older

Hi all, 

I haven't written a post for a while - very much same as you - I've been flat out with life. 
But here I am and I'm glad you could make it too.

By now you've seen the subject I put up - "getting older" - but aside from when normal people complain about getting older with things like achy bones, wrinkles and "the roomatiz", what would I possibly cover with such a title?

Well y'see, it's a bit like this....

Recently I've returned to martial arts training again (so far only 2 sessions) with a fellow martial arts instructor by the name of Javier. 

Javier (pronounce Have-ee-air) is originally from Argentina and does an art known as Pa Kua*.  He's been all around South America, Spain and France helping instructors be better at what they do and how they fight/act/think –something very similar to what I've done locally minus the overseas travel. He's a genuinely nice guy, a man I now count as a friend, tends to approach life in a similar way that I do, is a 4th degree black-belt and like me, enjoys the challenge of pitting his skills against someone equal, better or higher graded.

In truth, each night we train, both of us laugh most of the time as its just plain fun for both of us. Instructors don't ever get much opportunity to square off against each other since the fighting can be fast and does often result in strikes/kicks/throws that could seriously injure the other if either of us allowed them to "follow through". For he and I, the differences in styles and approach are easy to see but the similarities are also just as obvious. 

After classes he and I often discuss philosophy, martial history, new skills for teaching others, tried and tested self-defence techniques, new ones, carry out weaponry displays, then the normal guy stuff and joke around.  

Now the point of this little background story is....

He's 31 years old.  And I'm 43.

Given this, generally speaking compared to Javier - a young man who has an infectious zest for life and has dedicated a great portion of his life to the pursuit of Pa Kua and all it stands for - I am an old man, somewhat the edgy result of a life led slightly hard (one kidney, fused lower back, very few nerve endings left in my shins etc) and who works in an office 45 plus hours a week with work done at home too.  

Logically, given the age difference and the fact that I have more surgical steel in my body than most, this should put me at a HUGE disadvantage right?

Yes. Absolutely.  

He was being born when I was entering my teen years. So there is no way I could be any kind of challenge…right? Seems logical he'll just outclass me and beat me up...

Well, funny thing.

The actual answer is "No".  

And welcome to the point and the reason I've put together this post for you.

The moment Javier began circling me on that first night and we began trading kicks, elbows and punches, I realised that we are only restricted by the things society tells us, by the things we tell ourselves and by the things we have endured up until that moment. The moment he realised I was going to be at least a challenge for him in the early rounds, a healthy level of respect between us developed too. I'm partially sure he may have thought he could outclass me too based on my age and "more salt than pepper" beard, and I wouldn't have blamed him one bit.

Sure, in some ground work I did expose my kidney to a little bit of uncomfortable aching when I refused to give up when I should have, which made me feel like a bit of an idiot as the night got cut short due to pain - and some concern - and played on my mind for the remainder of our session. But Javier was very gracious about it.  

So at my age am I as fit as Javier? No. But will I be in time? Yes. 
Could I also keep up as we cycled through round after round? Yes early on, no later on. Again a stamina issue.  The rounds had to get shorter and shorter but (a good thing for my own pride) Javier was struggling to breathe a bit too.

So the moral to this post - some insights I would like you to think about;

1. Had I have told myself that I was too old/unfit to fight Javier, I wouldn't have tried. I would have lost before I started. I also wouldn't be now possibly challenging another 5th degree black belt who is visiting NZ from the USA.
2. Had I have believed society had already counted me out as a real contender after the age of 25, I wouldn't have tried and I would have lost before I started again.
3. Had I have believed my own self-doubt that crept in that I couldn't be a worthy opponent for a 31 year old 4^th degree black-belt; neither he nor I would be having as much fun as we are 7:30pm until midnight and building a great friendship along the way. 

So ask yourself - how often do you defeat yourself before you even start?

The world and the people in it can occasionally pass judgement on you prematurely and count you out when you have plenty left up your sleeves.
I would like to suggest that if you are ever faced with a situation in which you don't think you can do it, or you can't succeed because you "might feel silly", "discover limitations you didn't know you had", "fail" or "waste someone's time" then try anyway. 

Dont deprive yourself of an opportunity to discover something about yourself, to grow.

If you don't try, if you never apply, if you never actually decide to get into the ring of your own life – then you will never know what you are capable of and what opportunities you could have with the right approach and attitude.

Above is a picture of the New Zealand Pa Kua family. Javier front right. 

You might recognise some other faces in the background too...

If you would like to know more about Pa Kua, I strongly suggest you go along for a few sessions if you have a school nearby. 

For those of you who live in Tauranga NZ - it is in Greerton directly across from the Library - and tell him I sent you - your first class is always free. 

Pa Kua is excellent fun for your children, grandchildren and even for yourself.

And new friendship aside, I am happy to say that Javier is one of the best instructors of martial arts in the Bay of Plenty and if you have an interest in self defence, archery, yoga, philosophy or Tai Chi, go see him or feel free to discuss with me/flick me an email if you would like to know more.

Parting shot - don't let those around you or yourself decide what you can or cant do with your life. 

You only get one, live it well. 

*Click for the Pa Kua International Website​

Follow Me and WIN!

Hi you!!

Something a bit different today.

Above is a picture of a "Samurai Jack" figurine (possibly a McDonald's toy, about 15 centimeters tall) which sits on the window-sill next to my desk at work. 

He's a bit dinged up, bit worse for wear (like his owner) so he may not look like much but I assure you, he means a lot to me.

This little figure has served as a constant reminder of where I have been and what I have learned, challenges I have faced and overcome and as a reminder of where I still want to go in life without losing who I am.

All that from a McDonald's toy?? 

'Fraid so.

This little figure is the essence of the core belief that has kept me strong every single day and is partially responsible for the title of my blog (even though mine's called Fall six, Get up Seven).

He is not a religious item, nor a false idol to be worshiped etc he is simply a small plastic toy that if you press it down, it pops back up when it's ready. 

And it ALWAYS pops back up.

So this morning I decided it's time for him to go sit on someone else's window sill. 

And yes, that someone could be YOU.

To be in to win this figure, please return to my blogging homepage at 

http://thesunsetdragon.blogspot.co.nz/ 

and enter your valid email address (please no scams) 
into the FOLLOW ME BY EMAIL section up on the right hand side. 

And that's it. 

No scam, no jumping for numbers to get paid somehow, nothing. 

I just simply want to send Samurai Jack on his next big adventure and for the thing he stands for with me, to be passed on to you. Easy.

I would ask however though that the winner takes a "selfie" of themselves and Jack together wherever they are in the world and send it to me to post up on my blog. 

I would also hope that once they deem it necessary, that the winner then passes "him" on to someone in need of the "Fall down seven times, stand up eight" purpose and they could then too email me with their picture with Jack and so on and so on.

This competition is open for the next 2 months, closing on the 15th December 2014.

I will contact the winner by email, ask for your name and address and post Samurai Jack direct to you, absolutely free of charge, to anywhere you might be in the world. 

So what are you waiting for?

Go follow me! 

Win your very own Samurai Jack!

[Dem baaaaaad shivers]

Welcome to the wild and weird world of the "Blow Ass"

Hi there! 

Welcome back. 

Jeeeez, feels like its been forever, huh?

Sorry I've been absent from this for a while, been busy at work, my son had the Aims Games (it's like the Olympics for middle school/intermediate kids aged between 11-14) and my family and I have just had a really busy few weeks! Crazy times!

Life right? Yeah. You hear me.

So for today's blog I thought I'd write about a personality type which encompasses two of the most annoying traits of all - attention whore and sycophant - and the best ways to spot them, deal with them and perhaps even enlighten them.

As you may have guessed, I've run into a few of them just lately, hence this topic for the post. Two women, one guy. 

And before you ask, no I'm not going to name and shame them. This blog is designed to help people, not victimise them and as any of you long term readers will have figured out by now, that's not my style here in text or in person.

Now sure, the people I'm referencing may read this and could realise its about them. Seems pretty unlikely though, none of it's flattering. Attention Whores and Sycophants thrive on their own importance, real and imaginary.

Now to clarify, I do have a real preference for when I am experiencing an issue with someone, I deal with them in person. It's an old-skool type preference, taught to me by my Mum and my Grandfather. The reason is simply to be face-to-face so an equal exchange of ideas can happen and so that relationships can be fostered.

It's never for intimidation reasons (unless necessary) and to date, this in person approach has always stood me in good ground with people and garnered me a nice amount of respect.

But it's an approach that doesn't always work out when dealing with an attention whore sycophant - henceforth referred to as "the Blow-Ass". 

In these three peoples cases, I have not addressed the issues with them in person. Nothing to do with not wanting to but everything to do with not being able to based on their geographical locations. 

And no to my team if you're reading this, it's not any of you and no it's not anyone in Oamaru or from there either. 

Disclaimer dealt, moving on.

So a warning point to realise when dealing with these types of personality;

People will either love them (like-minded individuals) or barely tolerate them (me and likely you).  Those of us who barely tolerate them will raise issues with them based simply on our own ideas around fair-play and right and wrong.

The point I'm making here is;

EVERY BLOW ASS NEEDS EAGER SUPPORTERS TO SURVIVE

You see when confronted with issues, the Blow Ass has a need to whip around and gather up their easily influenced and like-minded supporters, especially if they are confronted by something they don't like.

Prime examples are they could get shown an error they have made or have it suggested they need help from someone they consider inferior to them (which is often most people).

This is the moment drama begins.

The Blow Ass will justify their actions amongst the group they create to build near fanatical support. This will often lead to invisible mobs of people who will talk about you (as the raiser of the issue) behind your back, work hard to create lies about you, try to expose any of your flaws and give you filthy looks based primarily on lies and poisoned views the Blow Ass has fed them with.

It's already sounding like these people are HUGE pains in the ass, right?
Yes to that. True freak'n story.

I am convinced that Drama Queens, Liars, Cheats and Blow Ass's are 100% related. Much like the Adams Family only creepier, actually twisted, far stupider than Uncle Fester and probably hairier in the head than cousin "IT".

Blow Ass infections (and yes, it's applicable calling it this) can have long lasting affects on the group they create too, not to mention on circles of friends - sometimes yours - and perhaps even in business cultures.

In my experience, their poisons have a half-life of around a year after a Blow Ass has been removed.

You see the Blow Ass is a relatively adept creature who feeds on drama and praise. Prior to any expulsions, they'll see it coming and take necessary action.
The Blow Ass will have already completed their work by taking revenge on you for daring to raise something they deem you shouldn't have, for you forcing their hand by doing better than them or that you have threatened their position as most awesome person ever by doing something cool.

This raises another another point to understand.

NO BLOW ASS CAN STAND IN A FRIENDS SHADOW WITHOUT TRYING FIRST TO BRING THAT FRIEND DOWN AND RE-ELEVATE THEMSELVES BACK TO AWESOMENESS

This one is almost guaranteed.

If a friend is the cause of their frustration at not being glorified, the Blow Ass will treat the friend as a threat.
When threatened, the Blow Ass will attempt to create more Blow Asses as an automatic defence mechanism - their group of supporters. 

We will hereby refer to these new Blow Ass as the "Infected".

Some of these Infected - dependent on the level of influence the Blow Ass has poisoned them with - will confront you verbally or will physically gang up on you to vehemently defend the good name of the original Blow Ass who infected them - generally because they lose some part of their brains by listening and buying into such dramatic issues.

Here is a key point to know about these Infected however.

AN INFECTED PERSON WILL THROW THEIR BLOW-ASS INTO THE LINE OF FIRE THE MOMENT IT IS ADVANTAGEOUS FOR THEM TO DO SO

The Infected doesn't want to look bad almost as desperately as the Blow Ass didn't want to. 
The relationship between the Blow Ass and his or her league of Infected converts then becomes tenuous at best.

Handy piece of info if you have to deal with a bunch of Infected right?

Trust me, this bit of information combined with some of the stuff you'll read further down, will enable you to protect yourself and begin teaching an Infected the error of their ways. 

You will feel more confident dealing with them and become much more experienced and confident dealing with any future Blow Ass too.

Eventually you'll be able to spot them and stop them. 

Satisfaction guaranteed.

But unfortunately it's not going to be all come at me bro' and you win, noooooooo. 

Sorry to say but there's not too many fluffy cuddly bunnies and pink woolly slippers in this little story either... 

Blow Ass and their rancid Infected will play dirty. 

They will try to play toward your insecurities every single time and make you feel like you might just be as bad as they are. They will insult you, they will use any means necessary - including guilt trips and comparing you to others - to show you how bad you are and how you have to doubt yourself. 

They want you to be wrong because there is no way that they could be.

Every Blow Ass knows that doubt is the mind-killer and that by making you feel it, they can stop you acting confidently.

And here is the reason.

Confidence is your one and only weapon 

A lack of confidence will have them climb up and over you, thus bringing you into their Infected group or alienating you from your peers and causing you more problems than they are worth.

Make no mistake - BLOW ASSES ARE DANGEROUS.

This danger comes direct from their desire to have you admit you are wrong rather than them and is simply based around another key attribute of a Blow Ass. 

They can't ever take responsibility for their actions or their part in any actions. They believe they are always right and faultless.

IT'S ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT, NOT THEIRS. 

NOT EVER.

Thankfully with good intentions, an Infected can be saved from this way of thinking. 
The Blow Ass however - not a chance.

To rescue an Infected individual will generally take you prodding them to see the error of their ways, giving them some space if they flare up, and time. The Infected individual will always need time after they have been acting poorly.

Once time and space have been observed, you will often see that the Infected will realise that the truths they have been led to believe so majestically, are not real truths at all.

With you staying confident and staying true to yourself, any Infected individual can be brought back around to normal un-infected thinking and allow them the ability to see you for who you are, not what the Blow Ass wanted you to be seen as.

An Infected can - as long as the infectious Blow Ass has been contained - become un-infected and lead a normal healthy life.

Now finally, I thought it would be a good idea to provide you with a few further tips to assist you in the good fight against these Attention seeking whores and sycophants.

I understand that the process of taking control in situations involving the Blow Ass or Infected can be stress provoking and uncomfortable if you let it. 

So try a few of these on for size.

1. The Blow Ass/Infected need to be kept at arms length - if you let them continue to rule discussions, be involved in your life somehow, take over meetings, fight to remain as the centre of attention for any and all interactions with you and those around you - you risk having those around you becoming Infected too. That can then put you in the minority and at risk.  
2. Blow Ass's don't let up. It is their way of life. Knowing this gives you options on how to divert their attention away from you and how to ensure that when you raise issues, you have all your i's dotted and t's crossed. Over-prepare, not under. Blow Ass are slippery fuckers.
3. Blow Ass and Infected individuals will turn any conversations (even ones they are not a part of) towards themselves. How often have you heard about how great someone is from themselves, how legendary someone is from that very person, how they always have a better story than the one you just told, how they say how everyone thinks they're just so incredibly amazing? Know your topic or know theirs. Truth is the leveler.
4. Never rely on a Blow Ass. They will always let you down and blame someone else. Have a back up plan if you have no other choice.
5. Be confident in who you are and what you stand for. Confidence is your greatest weapon. Not even the Infected will be able to rock you.

Like I've stated in previous posts - Negativity is a virus and it will spread quickly given the right environment to do so. It is always up to you to make sure this environment never gets wings.

Something I haven't mentioned in prior posts though is that Negativity is generally spread by the infectious method of the Blow Ass.

True story my friend.

Like I stated earlier - Blow Ass are dangerous individuals.

And the reason for this is simple.  Above all else there is one over-arching desire that the Blow Ass finds themselves unable to let go of.  It is the one thing that drives them to be a Blow Ass in the first place.

THEY HAVE TO BE PERCEIVED BY OTHERS AS BETTER THAN YOU.

Especially if they have tried to infest your life.

Again, handy information to be armed with, wouldn't you say?

By knowing this, you can protect yourself from falling into the trap like the "Infected" and avoid being a target for their "I will insert myself into every facet of your life" method. 
The above items will also teach you that all Infected individuals will be told that what you have done - whatever it might be and real or fake - has to be over-dramatised and terrible.

The trick is to just be awesome, confident and understanding and the bullshit and lies won't have anything to stick to. The Blow Ass will have to work even harder to keep his/her flock interested.

If you are of influence, have said something nice to them in the past or have been understanding, if you can be used for future gain or are considered worthy enough to be connected with, the Blow Ass will target you by singling you out as a potential candidate for friendship by firstly plying you with gifts - often excessive but always public - and inserting themselves into as much of your life as they can to the point they begin trying to organise you. If you are connected with someone of power too - you will be a target.  Be wary.

They will run down others seen as potential threats, will over-state how close the two of you are and will guide you away from anything that might out-shine them. Most noticeable will be the attempt to get you to be their "OMG - YES, YOU ARE SO AMAZING" personal cheer squad.

THE BLOW ASS DOES NEED TO BE CONSTANTLY VALIDATED.

So guess what happens when they aren't....

In almost every case they will loose power, force themselves into a corner to the point they will have no other option than to remove themselves from the situation and seek out more agree-able people they can convince and pal up with.

So that's it!

I've tried my best to open up the world of the sycophantic attention whore to you from what I have observed and learnt, hopefully enough for some of yo out there in "I feel like reading a blog" world.

Your best course of action to combat the Blow Ass and his/her Infected is to be aware of them and treat them accordingly.

Simply put, be that little bit more prepared if you have to put a stop to them and un-infect their followers by being you. Cut them off and stop validating them, let them realise that the life of a Blow Ass is not acceptable around you.

Good luck and keep up the fight.

Lil' bit o' Business Advice

Well...it was inevitable.

I have turned a year older. Yup, just the other day, like a few days ago, certainly sometime between when that other day started and when it ended. Yeah, I'm all about specific's today.

I'm still in my early forties with a few wrinkles appearing on my face when I smile, I'm getting married to an amazingly hot woman who I love to bits who has a heart of gold and is my best friend, I have a 13 year old son, an 18 year old (non-biological - not that it matters) daughter and a 5 year old step son all of whom I love to bits, there's a lot more salt than pepper in my beard and hair than there was a year ago (possible reference to children) and I'm less inclined to go for a cross country run now than I was when I was 20.  

No wait.  Scratch that. I've always hated running. It's dumb, to be avoided, you turn a bit red faced, you sweat, unable to breathe, slamming feet into the earth, nah. Tell me, you ever seen a runner smiling as they're running? No. There you have it.

So I need to replace that last comment about cross country running. Please replace with "I'm less inclined to answer back in a bar than I was when I was 20". Yes, better. And no, I didn't like those situations either but when you're from where I grew up and you're partying in places infamous like Tokoroa, Putaruru, Hamilton, Auckland...well y'know, shit happens. At least the Tokoroa Police were nice. Well, the woman one was anyway.

But I digress. The point of this post is to be reflective and to tell you how I ended up where I am today as a Team Manager so that maybe my advice will help you see how to climb the ladder (corporate or otherwise) toward having a successful career in your chosen field.

So lets kick this off.  Here's me, I'm the team manager of a Telecommunications Provisioning Team - there's 17 staff, all very smart with lots of potential that's never been realised. Thankfully, now it is. I've been here at my current workplace for 13 years (and yes, my son was only 2 weeks old when I started and is the reason for the legend whispered in corridors of "Did you know Darren got keyboard face by falling asleep in training when he first started?"), I have run inbound contact centre teams of 14 or more, an elite high performing tele-account managers team of 12, was a QA for calls and helped our business grow professionally, created a Lead Mentor system that's still in place today 12 years later, became the customer service business stream lead for a multi-million dollar project run internally, I ran Billing and Cash teams for a while made up of a further 20 staff and have in the past been trusted to run both contact centres when the Service Operations Manager has been away on holidays for weeks at a time - around 150 staff. 

So how does a guy like me - not particularly school smart but did okay - end up doing all that stuff (and more) when I was voted "most unlikely to succeed" at school (editors girlfriend thought I was nice) and I kept falling asleep in training?

The answer (broken into 2 parts) is the same answer I've been telling you in almost every single post I've written here.

The first part is;

"Attitude"

Yup - this old nugget. "A" double "T", "i" and another "t" with a whole lot of "uuuude" for good measure.

So without coming across as some arrogant tool (trust me, I cant stand arrogant people and I am certainly not one, I'm more on the "caring and confident" side of the fence) each and every day I have done my best to focus on the good, even turning the not-so-good into ways of getting it around to my way of thinking and by actually giving a damn about what I'm doing. By constantly looking for win/win's in every situation, building a genuine honest rapport with the people I work with, being 100% honest in all my dealings and doing what I say I'm going to do (also becoming known for these traits) I have built up a size-able level of respect here - so that was  the "how". 

For you reading this, this might seem a lot, but it's not. It's a simple state of mind. Whenever you are working, whatever you are doing, if you have the right attitude towards it and you're not just sitting back and "expecting" things to happen for you, things will get easier and you will keep yourself ahead of the curve by getting asked if you would like to try something new. Nice people in this business get somewhere. Nice people with go-get-it attitudes can get even further.

People see this attitude in you. Now okay, yes, I've been very lucky and had plenty of amazing people looking out for these attitudes and great for me, they saw them in me, hence all the incredible opportunities I have found myself in. 

That's the first part done, now for the second part of this epiphany.

"It's ok to make mistakes"

So many people beat themselves up unnecessarily regarding making mistakes, but ask yourself some logical questions each time you make one;

"What have I learned?" - I'll bet you leaned how NOT to do it again, right? So is that a negative or a positive?

"How did it happen in the first place?" - time to start looking at the process and how you got there which will lead quite nicely into...

..."how can I stop this happening again?" - forward thinking to help yourself and others.

Regardless of the mistake, it is absolutely possible to turn it into a "serious positive" by learning from it and acting on it.  

Did you know about the potential to make this mistake before you made it? 

Of course not! If you did, you wouldn't have made it, right?

So now you do. What are you going to do with this information you've just learnt?

Gonna cover it up and pray no one realises?  Well, you could...but where would that get you?  Constantly having to hide? Anxiety that someone might bust you?  Screw that.  Bust yourself and fess up!  Own that error you made and spread the word! 

Thing is - your $40 mistake (or even $4000 mistake) that you've learnt from and are striving to fix/repair etc could be potentially plug a massive dollar hole the business you work for didn't even know about!  

And since you've found the error, by you alerting others to it, your little mistake could potentially save your company mis-quillions (Google it) if not mega-trillions of dollars in the long run.

So...why are you beating yourself up again exactly? 

LEARN FROM IT, ANALYSE IT, FIX IT, OWN IT. That's a real positive my friend. 

I'm pretty sure you're picking up what I'm putting down here.

 

So give these things a go - consider the environment you work in and look toward upping your personal profile within the business. Think about who you interact with, what your job is, what your role is (job and role can be different) and why you're there.

A few key points to consider too though.

1. Never be a suck-up - everyone can see through sycophantic behaviours, even if you're world class at it. Trying to make everything "all about you" or harping on trying to convince everyone just how "wonderful/awesome/amazing" you are, is just annoying. You will effectively lose all respect from the people you work with and miss out on even normal opportunities because you will be seen as a bit mental. No one likes a suck up attention whore.

2. Keep your cool when others aren't or can't 

3. Never go to a meeting without preparing for it first - you can choose to go as a spectator or a participant. I NEVER choose to go as a spectator.

4. Do what you say you're going to do - use outlook calendars, phone reminders etc basically whatever you have to make sure you don't forget

5. Have fun. Don't be serious all the time. No one will relate to the person who can't have a laugh.

6. Admit when you don't understand - which would you rather? Know how to do something or do it wrong and have to re-do it?

7. Be genuine. This, my friend, is numero ono and the MOST important thing of all.

8. Show empathy for others situations.

9. Proof read every email you send before you send it and re-read every email you receive at least once.

10. And lastly (but by no means finally) -  challenge yourself. You're a lot stronger, braver and smarter than you give yourself credit for buddy. Trust that fact.

Okay - I'll leave this all with you to have a bit of a re-read through - and I wish you the best of luck - I'm sure you got this and all the stuff I've blathered on about above you probably already knew.

Have a great day

...and dream big.