Wedding Photos

We got married!!

Hi there! 

I'm back!! Married!! We're both slightly heavier on the left hand side now, not from eating too many Jimmy's Pies (a South Island delicacy, google them) but because Andrea and I got married on the 23^rd of April down in Arrowtown, South Island, New Zealand. Monday was our first day back at work and things are going great.  

For those interested, our wedding day was nothing short of spectacular, the weather was exceptionally kind to us (even though it had been bucketing down at 3am with forecasts for torrential rain for the rest of the day), everyone had a fantastic time, rave reviews and yes, we can all agree on the fact that I punched well above my weight class being lucky enough to have Andrea think I'm fine, right? 

​Truly, I am a lucky man. Much dancing was done (no, I did not bust out my robot although I was tempted), music was brilliant (some Foo Fighters, little bit of Faith No More, some Cruzados), we had a great time and were lucky to have had the pleasure of so many people we care about attending even though it was such a big trip for some. 

18-20 months in the planning and organised by ourselves, our wedding day couldn't have gone better. It was nothing short of epic. Even the hen and stag nights went off without incident. 

Well, except for the fact my brother Dave (best man) broke his arm on the mechanical bull - but of course carried on partying like a rock star since we Leggatt boys do well in the pain threshold dept - and everyone else sustained minor injuries like rib and back bruising. Now my ride (yes, I know, just had back surgery but some things just cannot be denied) simply ended up making me feel a lot better. And I lasted second longest. 

My physio is now considering getting in a mechanical bull for those messed up spine patients like I had been. I reckon she should. I could do with another turn... 

Now as per all my blog posts, it is always my style to offer up any challenges ​faced so can pass on things we learned and how we handled ​so that these things may one day help you. And not just for a wedding.

Challenge # 1 – stay with me here. 

Cats like fuckn cheese. No, it is a true story. Don't bother arguing with me. I once owned a cat who was mad for cheesy pizza. Mad enough to write a children's book about. Jack the Pizza Eating Cat.

I can see your face right now so let me clarify. In my groom speech, I immediately referenced that I was like "the cat who got the cheese" referring to how incredible Andrea looked (I swear she was glowing) and how happy I was to be her groom. Happy Dazza, grinning from ear to ear. One of our beloved guests decided she would correct me by saying "cream". What was in my head surely wasn't appropriate to voice so I had to let it slide. Was still great for a laugh but I stand by the fact cats do dig cheese in a big way. 

A learning that my wife was able to take away from this? Husband is cool, he probably should have done more prep for his speech rather than just "winging it" and yes, he is a little different. Absolute true story though, she may have known this one already when she signed up. 

Challenge # 2 - we left the rings behind at the house. Yup. The two crucial items for any successful wedding, these shiny circular items were happily sitting on a bedside table back at the Book-A-Bach we rented wondering where we had all disappeared to. Seems our amazing photographer moved them for some shots prior to us tying them in a pretty bow to be brought along to the chapel. Shit.

So what were the lessons we learned from this?

Lesson # 1 – both of us have very strong hearts – neither of us exploded internally. 

Lesson # 2 - Lizzie, our mid 50's driver of one of the daimlers we had as wedding cars, can drive really fast and jump fences all in the name of love. Impressive commitment for love for sure!

Lesson # 3 - sometimes when you have planned things down to the very minute for something so hugely important, not all things can (or will) go smoothly, no matter how meticulous you are. Always make a suitable amount of well-considered room for errors and always triple check your work, utilise those around you as sounding boards too depending on importance of what you're working on.

Lesson # 4 – sometimes when things go wrong, things can actually go much better. With the rings left behind and a mad drive back to the house by one of the car drivers, Andrea was stuck waiting outside the chapel whilst I was standing inside it with all our guests. 25 minutes round trip to get the rings? Nothing we could do but wait. I considered busting out into song, but it didn't take long before both of us, began to really relax. The pressure was off. Something had gone wrong. I know, it sounds weird. But that's exactly what happened.

See, those rings sitting ever so innocently on that bedside table, actually took the pressure off of both of us as our meticulously planned day had had its first hiccup. At the time it was a biggie. But there was nothing we could do but wait. A dent in our amour of planning had occurred. It's kind of like what happens to your nerves in a fight when that first strike catches you. You're shaking with the nervous adrenaline right up until the pain comes – and then you realise you can handle it. It's a feeling of relief.

And that's when you just get on with it. And that's exactly what we did.

NOTE - I am in no way likening my getting married to a fight. Sheeesh.  

Queue shortest marriage in history.

Seriously though, we had an incredible day! My lovely wife had her dream wedding. Quote un-quote. It's a pretty good feeling knowing we pulled that dream come true out of the bag. We got it done AF people.

So yes, to the learnings. To the many of us who are set back by mistakes or errors as we're aiming for our lofty goals or trying to deliver projects or get through workloads, it is important you see any setbacks for what they are.

Each one is a key opportunity to grow/learn, a chance to realise that no matter how intensive our planning to deliver, it is okay (of course depending on severity and importance) for something to go wrong in a purely personal growth perspective. Like one of my earlier posts, mistakes mean you're trying. Sometimes they can be a pressure off moment. Sometimes it can be a pressure on moment that can wake you up to perform even better. The trick is to not let them stop you performing your very best. You just rally yourself and back yourself. You can still succeed!

The other simple fact is, we ALL make mistakes. Do your level best to mitigate making big ones, never be too proud to ask for advice, feedback or help etc. Always learn from any mistakes you make and correct them as fast and as best you can. After all, it's how we all grow.

All that said, I am so glad that we had such an incredible day and holiday, we are pleased to be back (although another week might have been just the ticket aye boss hahaha) and we have been besieged with well wishes, handshakes of congrats and genuine smiling welcome's back.

Here are a few pictures. Enjoy.

[Dazza drops the mic]

Boom.

Got Anxiety? Read this.

Anxiety. 

It's a funny thing. Can be crippling in extreme cases or in lesser extents, be quite good for you. Kinda like small amounts of stress.

If you suffer from anxiety, I might just have a few pointers that may assist you in coping with it.

Like most posts, this one has been triggered. Surprise, surprise, I've just been subjected to a fair amount of anxiety myself by coming back to work. Regular readers will know that I've just been through some major surgery (and subsequent mistakes made by said surgeons) in which i ended up being paralysed for quite a few hours and almost checked out a few times.

But my anxiety was not caused by what you might think, I was never anxious about going back to work, I was (and still am) excited to be back. Back full time now after a graduated return to work program that started off with 4 hours per day for first couple of weeks, then up to five and half etc.

No, my anxiety was because I've been struggling having normal conversations with people, or even speaking publically when normally (pre operations and trauma) I'd been fine. I'm not normally a shy kinda guy.

Anxiety has been creating awkward silences, making me struggle talking to people and making my heart race. Anxiety has been knocking me off my game. 

Not cool. But thankfully, not for long. 

Turns out that trauma, 3 operations in less than 3 days with all that general anaesthetic AND 4 ½ months in recovery with only the odd visitor, "discussion" with difficult ACC people and loving family members to talk to, does not make for a well-rounded, confident workplace conversationalist by any means. 

Seems I had become quite blunt (more than before), less aware of my impact on others and I'd been missing a few social graces like patience and tolerance. Who knew?

Not generally a great look for someone in my position as a manager as you can imagine. 

Interviews (which I deliberately keep semi casual to get the most out of candidates) often created eyebrow raises from potential staff from my lines of questioning.

The good thing however – just like you who come here to read this stuff – I realised. Thankfully very quickly. This is actually something I have anxiety to thank for. See? Told you in some cases it's okay to have.

Now as you know if you visit here often (and again, just like yourself) I'm not one for taking things lying down so have been working hard on sorting all this out. Pretty sure I'm almost back on track now.

Fall down six, stand up seven. Set your goal, nail it.

So the purpose of this post – because of all that palaver - I have figured out a couple of quick win help techniques (and reinvigorated a few from my old fighting days) that may work for you as they have (and are) for me.

• Clench and relax your stomach muscles multiple times. Anxiety (and stress) is often held in this location.
• Pull down your upper back muscles (shoulder blades) toward your waist and release a few times too. Like point 1, this is another good location for muscle bunching from emotional content. You can also use this one for relieving stress headaches as often those types of headache is caused by upper back muscle tension running into the neck.
• Clench and hold your left hand, make a fist, let it go. Again, repeat. Left hand is closest to your heart (why a wedding ring is worn on it) and this action is an old technique I learnt from a very understanding Grandmaster who saw me stressing before a multiple attacker training session, it often works.
• Git your soundz on - favourite song time – play it loud either in your headphones, at home before your anxiety inducing moment or even in the car on the way to it. Music can soothe the savage beast inside or rark it up even more toward the "you won't break me" positive reinforcement

• Most important - BREATHE – oxygen really is your best friend. But it's not just about in and out. Concentrate on keeping your breathing regular as anxiety often speeds up your breathing patterns. Bringing it back to standard (or slower) will reduce all kinds of factors churning through your bloodstream. But dont go too slow. Often thinking everyone has fallen down some invisible hole when in fact you passed out and are staring at the ceiling, can be awkward. Trust me on this.
• "Check yourself before you wreck yourself" – google says the actual origin of this saying actually began in Tauranga! As "street" as I have been in the past (snigger), no it wasn't me. Now this one really is all about self-monitoring. If you know you have anxiety, you have to also know that your emotional reactions or conversational interactions may not quite be on point as they have normally been. Be aware of who you're talking to, check their reactions to what/how you're saying things. There have been multiple moments since I've been back where I've just bluntly stated things or just walked away from discussions when the other person may not have been finished asking for my help. Luckily I think I've caught most of them and wheeled back. If you're one of them, oops, sorry. Work in progress.
• Don't be afraid to make mistakes. To quote something I have up on the wall of my home dojo;
  

• Last one - lay off coffee and if you're a smoker, try kick that to the curb too. Both generate anxiety, not solve it. Plenty of scientific proof. Up to you though, I'm not telling you what to do, choice is always yours.

And that's about it for now.

Failing these self-help things working for you, suggest talking about it with a friend and/or utilising counselling if you can. Sometimes just talking with someone who can help you discover some "tools" to help can make all the difference in the world.

That said, off you go. .

Time to go get some things done.

Daz.

An old story told new

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move. “Sensei,” the boy finally said, “Shouldn't I be learning more moves?”

“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know,” the Sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the Sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be over-matched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the Sensei intervened. “No,” the Sensei insisted, “Let him continue.”

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and Sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. “Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?”

“You won for two reasons,” the Sensei answered. “First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defence for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm.”

The boy’s greatest weakness had become his greatest strength.

Something to think about, right?

​

Are you sure that part of you, that you think is a weakness...is actually a weakness?

The 4 month hiatus is over! I'm BACK!!

Hi you!

Apologies for not updating my blogs sooner! I would've if I could've, promise! Wrote this one up last night so could upload for you today.

See the thing is (if you hadn't noticed), I've been away for just over 4 months, recovering. Its true that I almost died couple of times and almost lost use of my legs forever. Yup. Fairly serious stuff.

So the purpose of this post is to not only let you know that yes, I am absolutely alive and back at my work walking the (new) hallowed halls of power (and gas and internet and phones) but to also let you know what happened (and to save me explaining to everyone who is asking) and to let you know what I learnt so I can pass this on to you. 

After all, that is the purpose of why I started this blog in the first place. To help.

So let's break it down a bit, y'know, set the scene some to speak...

I went in for a fairly standard leg bypass operation back in October 2015. This was the result of a somewhat mis-spent youth, martial arts conditioning and semi-pro kickboxing. Funny thing is that repetitive fights and coming from Matamata (where actual hobbits live) can absolutely result in some long term damage that will eventually need repair. That and being over 40 now. And greying. Nothing too serious, operation would've had me off work for 3 weeks tops.

Or so I planned. But as life is, sometimes life doesn't work out that way.

Had operation over in Braemar Hospital in Hamilton. Yay for Southern Cross Healthcare. Everything went well...right up until around 4 hours later when they found a blockage in behind my right knee. Another operation scheduled immediately as risk of losing my right foot. 2nd operation in less than 6 hours.

Transferred to Waikato Hospital where things began to go pear-shaped as no team available in Braemar. Long story short, trainee anaesthesiologist and his boss signed off 10 times the normal amount of blood thinner (to which the hospital admitted full liability) during my op and in HDU post care.

As the method to knock me out to remove the blockage was via an epidural, I ended up developing a rather large spinal hematoma which pressed on all available nerve endings creating a pretty good amount of pain and had me completely paralysed for a good 6 hours, a paralysis they were fairly sure was going to be permanent.

During this hematoma prior to the third operation (5-6 hours between each of the three ops) to remove part of my spine, turns out I came about as close as you can to going into cardiac arrest 2-3 times with massive blood pressure peaks and pulse rate spikes. 

I remember them happening and just clenching my teeth/fists/every muscle I have as all the machines I was hooked up to all went crazy.

Good news is...I survived every single one. Much to a lot of the medical staff's surprise. The spinal specialist seemed quite pleased when I caught up with him only a few weeks ago. 

Like my grandmother used to be fond of saying though, "You can't kill the weeds". True story.

So then has come the long and slow process of getting better. 

Yes, at times it has been incredibly frustrating, a lot of the time painful. I still have constant pain in my left leg, some numbness on my left foot and a disc in my lower back that has decided to slip out as a result of all the trauma. I have multiple visits to physio's per week, each of which almost wipes me out. I am constantly standing then sitting, sitting then standing as long term of either, hurts. Stamina is also an issue, pain is kind of like a slow leak on a car tyre. Hence my short days to start with until the tyre gets fixed.

But even with all of this, I am still very much alive and walking, both of which were up for grabs on more than one occasion.

So what have I learnt from all this that could possibly help you? 

And how is it that I have managed to get back to work so soon given the specialist expected me to 

a) never walk again 

b) on the outside chance I would walk again, that I would need assistance for the rest of my life 

c) if lucky enough to be in the 2% of people who have had the same size hematoma in same place be able to walk again unassisted, I would still be messed up for upwards of 2 years before I could return to some normality

So then exactly how am I back at work now, only 4 months later? And mowing lawns at home?

Well, like a lot of my previous posts, the answer is very simple.

DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF 

DON'T LET YOURSELF BECOME A "VICTIM"

​No, I'm not kidding. Allowing yourself to be the victim changes your outlook on things. Negativity can creep in. Depression. Expectation that things will indeed go wrong or get worse. You have to fight this feeling.

So if you can do something for yourself (without getting hurt), plan out how you're going to do it, then do it.​ ​

Own that shit. Then celebrate your success. Even if it's tiny. Every single success counts towards getting - and keeping - your head on straight. It also helps your body repair.

POSITIVITY counts.

During my recovery, I have stood by a few simple rules (most of which have gotten me growlings from my better half Andrea for doing too much) like pushing myself every single day. Every day I got out of bed at 7:30am, even though I had nothing to do. I got my own breakfast (well mainly, the ones where I couldn't get out of bed Andrea made it for me), I made a list of things to accomplish every single day and I nailed every single one. Some were simple like "walk 3 steps" or "change light bulb" right up to "swim 30 lengths at pool" and "mow lawns without stopping". Now sure, a couple of times I took things a bit far and popped a few stitches, but all in all, I have busted what was a 98% certainty prognosis and shown the world what is possible with some stubbornness, drive, setting goals and teeth gritting determination - all of which YOU have in spades too. 

Trust me - this is not something "special" about me.

YOU just need to believe in yourself too and TRY. It is always better to try and fail, than fail to try.

Do things for yourself, never let circumstances beat you, you are the one who gets to choose how you will react to any and all situations. 

Yep, YOU.

Now I'll wind it up here so that you can grab a drink and a bite to eat since it's been a fairly long post. Eating and drinking at regular intervals is advised.

In the coming weeks as I get stronger, I'm happy to talk to anyone if you need help unlocking any of these skills and attitude changes (for free), just put in a request in the comments or email me and I'll see what we can do.

But all in all, remember...

You're so much stronger and more resilient than you think you are.

Talk soon.

Martial Arts relevance in today's business world

Here's an article I wrote for Linkedin earlier this month.

The question that this article is setting out to answer is;

“Why should you pay more attention to a ‘martial arts’ background listed in an applicant’s CV, even if they don't have the “traditional” skill set you're looking for?”

To begin, how often have you seen listed under ‘personal interests’ in an applicant’s CV things like Jiu Jitsu, Karate, Kung Fu, Taijutsu, Taekwondo or Judo as line items? What about ‘Black Belt in’ or ‘4th Dan’? How often have you as an employer simply ignored this as just another sport reference or about as important as ‘gardening’ or ‘spending time with family’ when concerning relevance to your organisation's ongoing growth and profitability?  

This article will present reasons on why only concentrating on the “traditional” skill sets you always look for – regardless of whether or not you are a successful organisation or not - is not always the best option if that's all you use. It will also aim at how you could very well be missing out on hiring someone who could not only change your hiring methodology but also bring important skills into your organisation.

As a semi-retired instructor in a few varied martial art disciplines myself and as a Team Manager within Trustpower’s rapidly growing Telecommunications sector, I am often asked by like-skilled martial artists for advice on how to move from their current “lifestyle” jobs – jobs which have allowed them to put maximum effort into their chosen disciplines but with little CV worthy titles - and move into the world of corporate business with only their current “skills” to trade with. It is these people (in my experience) who have common characteristics that a lot of potential employers are overlooking, perhaps to their detriment.

So often as employers we get tied up in looking at a person’s work history as the only relevant data we require to make an informed decision on who to short-list and interview. These are the skill sets we know historically work in well within our organisations, the tried and tested trigger points that put a CV into our 'yes' pile. With hundreds of CV’s it’s easy to overlook those unwritten potentials hidden under such inane extra-curricular interests that seemingly have zero relevance.

Its time to look a little closer. A lot of us are missing something important.

Consider all of the benefits that being skilled in any martial art could potentially deliver and this will be precisely why any reference to it should be on your “hit-list” when shortlisting applicant's for interviews, regardless of current core competencies the person may have. Yes, there is always risk in changing a hiring process but the questions has to be asked - what have you got to lose? Some time? Let me explain a few things I relate to the martial artist individuals (generally instructors) who come to me for advice with very little on their CV's which relate to jobs they're applying for. Here is a breakdown of why you should perhaps add them to your "wild card" list.

“Discipline”. In any chosen martial art, in order to progress through the various types of ranking systems (generally belts) each Practitioner must turn up on a regular basis and put in a consistent effort towards improving both their physical and mental prowess. This in itself shows commitment – consider what having an employee with discipline and commitment could do for your business.

“Ability to learn and adapt”. Martial artists learn thousands of techniques which are often worked on thousands of times to create instinctive responses to outward influences, not only conflict. This ability trains the mind to be able to categorise different levels of threat (which can easily be converted to business priorities) and how to adapt best for the most successful outcomes. The ability to learn quickly and to have high levels of memory re-call is vital for any Practitioner, again traits that would be beneficial in most organisations who wish to be more agile.

“Conflict Management”. Imagine having an employee with exceptional coping mechanisms when it comes to both dealing with conflict and with the ability to teach conflict resolution. As a martial artist, a student is taught the fundamentals of human behaviour including body language and how to “talk” someone down before any “other” options are considered. Physical is always a last resort and never a preferred option. Martial arts have a purely “self-defence” ethos as well as a focus toward a ratio of 80% mental and 20% physical. Martial Artists are taught to be thinkers. Now re-consider the adaptability, discipline and ability to learn. I'm betting you're getting the picture.

“Integrity” – the higher up the ranking system a Practitioner goes, the more importance is placed on being an upstanding citizen and envoy for their chosen discipline. Each martial art system has its key characteristics that all of their Practitioner follow too, guidelines towards respectable behaviour similar to commandments. Integrity is key throughout them all.

“Health benefits”. An easy one. Most instructors have trained both body and mind to where general illnesses tend to be a lot less frequent. Consider how reduced absenteeism could be of benefit. Plus in conjunction with integrity, if they do call in sick, you’ll know they are.

“Empathy”. Again, one of the core fundamentals of conflict management. Someone well versed will be able to see people dealing with difficulties before anyone else will notice, often without having spoken to them. Martial artists are trained to be aware of their environments, whether they be a battleground or in the office. Often they will be the first people taking steps to support and assist others.

“Teaching/Coaching”. Even as lower ranked students, everyone learns to help someone else, they learn methods of communicating information and techniques which in turn also increases confidence. If you've never been in a martial arts class, go along to one and watch. It’s not only the instructors teaching the students, often it’s the students teaching other students what they've already learned. Its part of the cycle of knowledge.

“Calm under pressure”. Martial artists learn how to deal with dangerous situations, often life threatening. Often when they transition into businesses, they will be the least likely to be running around with their heads cut off. Martial art systems all teach students how to think under extreme pressure. How handy would it be to have someone like this in your organisation?

And finally; “Creativity/Innovation”. An often unknown in the martial arts community is the violence versus creativity argument. So often when a student reaches the levels of instructor, they have learned so many techniques on how to deal with extreme situations, that there almost “has to be” a balance going in the opposite direction and this is where the creativity/innovation factor comes into play. Myself, I write novels and music, my teachers both write poetry and paint, so many others I know all do something creative whether it be house renovations or flower arranging. All vastly removed from martial arts. What does this mean for your business? Creativity is key to Innovation and I myself have come up with many great ideas that Trustpower has run with, some of which are still in place today.

So, my question to you now has to be…are you still going to overlook that “personal interests” martial arts reference on an applicant’s CV if they don’t have the relevant “traditional” skills that you've always looked for?  

 ...And what will you get if you always do what you've always done?

Perspective.

Like I've said in many other posts prior to this...

As in life, the above pic illustrates that sometimes what something looks like, isn't what it actually is.

Today's post is all around interpersonal relationships you have within the teams you're in.

Working so closely with people can occasionally create friction between you and another, sometimes the results can be difficult and involve some kind of managerial intervention - none of which anyone wants.

So why am I bringing perspective and interpersonal relationships up in the same sentences?

Well, hopefully you've already read my posts on dealing with conflict and a few of the other insights I have offered up on awareness.

If this is true, then you'll understand why my inclusion of perspective is more about what YOU'RE seeing around YOU than what others are.

If you haven't read any of the other posts and you are struggling with either one or many of your working relationships, please take some time to go back over some of my old posts. Fingers crossed what I've put together back there will help you when you get back.

For the rest of you, take that handbrake off, we're gonna need a bit more speed if we're ever gonna make the 720 spin on the gravel n grass up here....

So your own perspective is the bit you're responsible for, not anyone elses'. Make sense? Yes. Easy.

What you may not be considering during these interactions that are pushing your blood pressure up, is your....starts with a "P".....anyone....no, its not Pinot Noir.....no it's not "Poison" either...it's "Perspective".

Your perspective should always been your first consideration when struggling with someone you work with, be in your team or outside of it. But how and why?

Pedal down and consider the following statements;

1. Are you getting frustrated with this person based on something they did a long time ago and are "colouring" all their current and future interactions with you with that same brush?

2. Does your frustration/anger actually have anything to do with this person? Or is it you? Do they remind you of someone else who drives you up the wall?

3. Does this person have any idea that what they're doing is affecting you so badly? If they did, might they stop doing it?

4. Has that person been shown that way to do something by someone else and there's a good reason for it that you might not know?

5. How are you feeling? Tired, sad, angry. Write down a list of why then ask how important the things on your list actually are.

6. What's going on for you that might be clouding your views of the situation?

7. Do you think the stress you're under is caused by what's going on around you? Or is it you creating it for yourself?

Slap on the handbrake and turn the wheel hard left.

These are just a very quick few questions designed to challenge how you're viewing the world around you, give you a full 180 feedback back toward yourself and can give you another spin on an "eyes open" on how you're interacting with that person (or people) that's getting up your nose.

Perception and how you use it can be a great diffuser for your stresses and for how you view any situation you find yourself in too - it goes hand in hand with attitude.

So like I said earlier - sometimes what things can look like, sometimes just are not what you thought they were...its just the way you're looking at them that's giving you the stress or frustration you're feeling.

 Now as a further illustration on perception, here's a classic one for you.

To any of you Sons Of Anarchy fans...yeah...

...this might sting a little...​

Have a great day.