Triple filter test - how to handle gossip

Hi! Welcome back. 

Here is something I found on the internet for those of you who often have to deal with gossip. 

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”
“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.”
“Test of Three?”
“That’s correct,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man replied, “actually I just heard about it.”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.
Socrates continued, “You may still pass though because there is a third test – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really…”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more…

So the next time you feel the need to speak about anyone, ask yourself first; Is it true? Is it good? Is it useful?

"You staunch bro?"

This post is more for those of you with a more "hardened/staunch" perspective on healthcare, generally your own. Has a lot to do with the Distinguished Gentlemen's Ride for prostate Cancer and Mental Health I try to help organise looming on the horizon again (Sept 27th). People will recognise your staunch-ness from 100m away, you're the ones who make statements like "awh nah bro, she'll be right", "Ooo yuck, feelings…" and "Nah, its all good, ain't serious.". 

Maybe you are one, or perhaps know one. Sheesh, I used to be one myself. Still fight the urge from time to time. But if you are one, please read on. I have a couple of things you should probably hear.

Right. I hate to break it to you buddy, but its time you listened up, spoke up and got help if you're trying to handle stuff that you know you can't. Emotional stuff. Mental illness type stuff. Stuff you're not coping with. Being that kind of "staunch" ignoring your challenges is no longer the way to go.

There is a new "staunch" in town and its far better for you, will look better on you and will gain you more respect than the old way would have. Its also braver and harder (read: makes you tougher) than what the word used to mean.

Welcome to 2017.

To start with (and not to take away from stuff you might be dealing with), have you ever had a moment where you went "Okay. This could be bad...I don't know what to do here..."?

You know, one of those times when it seemed the walls were closing in, doubt turned up and everything started annoying or hurting you, and there you are, refusing to admit anything or in a position where you are WAY outside your comfort zone with no idea on what to do next. Would have been one of the times when you dived headfirst into lock-down and closed everyone out. You know. Tryin' to be "staunch".

Sound familiar? Yeah, thought so. You closed down because you refused to deal with whatever it was or is, or maybe you just couldn't.

That "staunch" attitude you're so proud of or grew up with seeing people you respected displaying, doesn't and most likely won't ever help you. Even amongst others doing that same old staunch thing.

Now, if the answer to a question about "how serious is the stuff I'm dealing with right now?", is VERY serious, then you have a huge opportunity to try out this new definition of being "staunch". Step one is to book an appointment with a counsellor. Pretty much every single counsellor will be well trained to deal with any difficulties you might have in expressing yourself.

So whilst you go off and book that appointment, might help to understand what the old "staunch" one is about. In my opinion, it is actually built on three primary things.

1. Fear of looking / feeling weak / embarrassment

2. Lack of ability to talk about stuff

3. Inability to understand own feelings

Both 1 and 2 have always fed each other, just like a snake eating its tail. Cant overcome the fear because you don't have the ability to deal with stuff, cant deal with the stuff because you have too much fear. Point three just makes it worse.

Here's where it gets interesting for you, my staunch friend.

In order to deal with the 3 points, you actually need to harden up. 

Yup. I just said that. Sting a little bit, did it? Thought you were hard or tough already? Got news for you. You're not. And what's even more surprising, that fact is actually 100% okay. In fact, it's more than okay.

Accepting the fact that you're not as hard/staunch/tough as you have been portraying is the first step toward getting a handle on stuff. Its time to be okay dealing with feelings and growing personally (and likely professionally too). Keeping yourself on lock down is the same as doing something negative – it won't help you no matter what the situation you're in that you can't handle.

The kind of hard as detailed in the above 3 points, is a false staunch. It is a lack of understanding, a lack of being able to express yourself and a lack of ability to deal with fear. 

See, feelings aren't dumb, weak, useless, or even embarrassing. Everybody has them, like a pulse. By acknowledging them and not burying them, you get a chance to understand them and therefore, yourself. Doing that gives confidence, some peace, a better understanding of how to handle things in the future.

Wouldn't that be better than how you handle stuff now?

I dare you to put aside any bravado you might have (because we both know that's just a mask for fear of talking about stuff) and make an appointment with a counsellor if there is something you're not handling too well.
Trust me when I say that it is epic-ally braver and stronger to open up and talk about things you're struggling with, than it is to try and ignore them.

Do brave, staunch people bury their heads in the sand to avoid stuff?

The answer is the same you'd give if asked "do tough guys look at explosions after they caused them?". 

No, staunchness-Mc-staunch. 

They don't. 

Tough guys and girls (and undefined) get in, get stuff done and walk away again. Cool as. What you don't get - until now - is that this is exactly what going to a counsellor is like. 

Get in, get stuff done, walk out. Cool as.

The supposed stigma attached to asking for help and getting it (let's be honest, especially if you're a guy – ask for directions anyone?) is everywhere in popular culture, but it's not right. Movies don't tell real life. Real life does. 

Consider the following.

Why do you think its dumb to ask for help when you can't sort stuff that actually matters? 

Do you think that makes you weak? Less of a man/woman/person?

If you think that, definitely check out what I have to say next.

If the alternator in your car is busted, do you fix it/get it fixed?

Yes. Cant go far unless you're planning on pushing it next time you stop.  

What about when the blade on your lawnmower is blunt and needs sharpening? Do you keep mowing the lawns cutting less and less each time, until you're eventually just pushing around a noisy hunk of useless machine annoying the neighbours and wasting all your time?

No, of course not. That'd be stupid, right? You fix it or get it fixed.

Closer to topic, got a bad, bad headache or a high fever. You ignore them?

No, egg if you did. You take medicine…and then you feel better.

So why then, do you think looking after yourself by going to a counsellor, has to be any different?

​Right. Fess up time. 

Have I been to see a counsellor? Yup, absolutely. 

Couple of times now throughout my life. Helped me. A lot. Needed my head put back on straight when I couldn't do it myself. No shame in it. Life can knock everybody down at some stage. Counsellors were able to provide me with some insight as to my various situations and provide me with some tools I needed to get it together. And I did. 

Just like taking panadol for a headache or taking my lawnmower to the lawnmower shop.

Now consider the fact I've been trained to be tough, kickboxing, streetfighting, brutal. I'm supposed to be hard. Does that make me weak or less of a man for getting help? Hell no. If anything, made me stronger. MUCH stronger. Often gives me the opportunity to flick the fingers up to the world and say 

"Ha! You couldn't break me!"

Counselling can do that for you too, but only if you're "new staunch" and "hard" enough to go. 

Even Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has all this figured out. 

I already know you can do this (since you come here to read these posts), you just need to know you can and that new staunch is the way to aim. 

It is seriously as simple as changing your definition of the word/attitude. John Kirwan (aka J.K. – a legendary All Black and more lately super 14 coach – admitted dealing with heavy depression throughout his All Black days and afterward, even opened up publicly about the topic, faced the advertisements on where to go and how to get help. ​Brave. Admitted he struggled. But he got help and is sorted.

So...if he can handle the jandal and go get himself help as someone famous AND as an ex All Black…what's your excuse again?

Be that kind of a legend. Be that kind of staunch, like John (J.K.) Kirwan, not the staunch you were before you started reading this. Don't be that snake eating its own tail. 

Ask for help. Brave it up. You CAN do it, no matter how tired you feel or how hurt you might be. Never give up. 

You'll thank yourself for booking an appointment (and going to it) and so will those who care about you. If you have already sought help, got it and you're out through the tunnel where its brighter, back me up on here. Tell them that haven't opened up and been yet, how it helped you. 

If just one staunch person reads your words and goes to get assistance, what a great day that will be, don't you reckon? 

Spread the word. Get the help. Open up.

Daz

Attitude - it can be your saving grace

​Hi there, 

This is a post I wrote up way back in July 2014 for both my workplace and for here, but its now become timely to bring it back for a second viewing. 

Bit of a disclaimer to start with. 

Topics I cover here in these posts are simply personal observations and are not intended to be professional counselling, condescending or upsetting, they are simply things I sometimes cover in one on one sessions with staff/peers or mentoring I do outside of work, that people down through the years have found helpful. To be clear - this is not some narcissistic attempt to gain fame or be "all that" and push my profile either. I simply have a helpful nature. 

These posts come about from increasing periods of seeing rough times friends, acquaintances and even strangers are going through, coming across the occasional sad articles and/or seeing close friends, family and other people struggling with things they haven't been able to get their heads around. Being able to provide a kind word, a bit of advice when asked for, or just a friendly ear, I've learnt from history, can make a difference. So thats what these posts are. 

You and I both know - tough times are tough times. No one is a stranger to them. I figured having a couple of places where someone is giving you some support/back-up to get you back on track might be good - hence this blogspot site. It's name is very similar to an old Japanese saying (which I reference to MANY times and will likely be my next tattoo) which speaks to underdog / fighter in all of us;

That all said and disclaimer all done, feel free to read on....

"Attitude is always your saving grace" 

Like everyone who is reading this knows, yep, life can deliver a few hard knocks, get a bit frustrating or just get you tired of being tired. Maybe you haven't had a holiday for a while due to circumstances beyond your control. End of the year can sometimes have this affect too - you've put in 12 months and worked hard, exhausted. 

Similarly starts of the year can weigh in like pro-fighters with fists the size of your face as well. Add to that deaths, divorces, dramas, break-ups, teenager issues, smaller children acting like teenagers, work problems etc and all of sudden, it can feel like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders whilst riding on a 4 x G-force roller coaster. 

Needless to say, sometimes these pressures can build up (see what I did there?) and both big and small annoyances can feel like mountains in no time flat.

But there is some good news - in just about all cases.

Like the post about "okay-wise-guy, how-do-i-stop-getting-annoyed?", if you were able to stop and look around, take a few calming breaths, plus deliberately alter how you are viewing things by challenging yourself, mountains CAN get smaller. Even if only by a millimetre or two. But a millimetre is a millimetre, right? Its an improvement.

Often people who care about you, will act as catalysts by kicking you in the ass when needed, offering you support you didn't know you had,or maybe you'll just read something that will pick you up just enough to help. All o​f these things can allow you to see differences in your day that you couldn't see when you were upset/angry/frustrated. 

Its 100% true that anger and fear both cloud judgement.

But you can change all that. 

And like the title states, with attitude.

But how? 

Well, for everyone it's different, but here are a few things to get you started.

i) Lame as it sounds, you could tell yourself "I'm in control of how I'm going to handle this" - just dont do this in a mirror. That's weird.

ii) In any situation where you are feeling anxious/afraid/stressed out/annoyed - take a few calming breaths – oxygen is your friend. Just don't over do it. Breathe normally. Focus on it.

iii) Take a step back mentally (and physically if you need to) to get an objective/less stressful look at where you're at, even where others are at.

iv) Often the key to taking anxiety out of a situation is to ask questions to find out more. Knowing what you're dealing with is better than guessing. "Fear of the unknown" is a common problem - so fix it and ask so its not as unknown anymore.

v) Be brutally honest with yourself - try to analyse "why" you might feel the way you do about things - may not be the reason you thought. Did you fail to prepare? Do you still have time? Prepping is more important than you realise.

vi) Make a no-nonsense plan with how you're going to deal with the cause/s with how you will react - either physically or mentally – the actual cause make no difference. Again, you're deciding how you're going to handle this, how you are going to react.

vii) "Attack" your own negativity/fear/anxiety. These things will breed given half the chance. Remember - you're choosing how to react - I can't state this enough - it really is your choice.

viii) Act positively - do what you planned to do - you're taking your own power back from the situation/mood that took it away. No matter how bad the situation might appear to be, its on you to try and improve it for yourself.

...And surprisingly all these things can literally take seconds to work through.

Now I'm not saying you should be Mr or Ms (Miss, Mrs etc) Positivity or over the top prepared because ridiculously positive people generally get high fives…..to the face…..with chairs…..

...but a little internal positivity can go a long way.

And once you get into the habit, changing your attitude and the way you view situations can get easier.

Clear heads see clear things.

So wrapping this up, hopefully this has made a bit of sense and perhaps it has helped. Attitude can keep you safe, can be a powerful line of defence when you need one and can change the way you view the world around you.

Either way, just remember, aside from looking after yourself and gettin' your own head on straight, consider the picture below. 

Not only do you need to look after your own attitude, but spare a thought for how your own might be impacting on others. Attitudes connect and have the ability to grow with those around you. Give it a shot, and good luck. 

So yeah, post over. Thanks again for coming by. Feel free to offer any helpful suggestions you might have, that may be helpful for any of the others who come by for a read, there seems to be a fair few of you lot these days based on the stats. We're up around 6,000 regular readers by the looks of it, of them, you are one. I appreciate you stopping by so often. 

#googlestatsarecool #trustinyourselfyoucandoit #strongerthanyourealise #yougotthis #DLTBGYD

Daz

A quote that speaks volumes

“So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me.

Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged.

I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive.”

J K Rowling 

Could a pizza sent for delivery get you home cheaper than a taxi?

What if you are in town with minimal cash on hand, need a taxi and find yourself starving for something to eat? Consider this as an option - go to Pizza Hut, order a pizza for delivery and catch a ride home with the driver.

Worth a try don't you reckon?

Blog – so what if you’re gay?

Being gay is not like being vegan. Seems LGBT individuals don’t find it necessary to inform you of their lifestyle. They just simply be.

Like most posts I write, this one is in reaction to something. I write this as I have noticed a greater acceptance in the media these days for openly gay people (like two dudes kissing on TV in some show wife was watching about surprise weddings or lesbian relationships in TV or movie dramas, and transgender people too). 

I think this accepting coverage/inclusion in the media is fantastic for breaking down the walls and going some way toward eliminating discrimination.

However, I also notice an increasing amount of right-wing-anti-gay hate groups trying to be heard, trying to sway the populous toward their way of thinking. A lot of Trump supporters based on what I've seen on the web too. But there are likely so many people reading this who think the same way. 

To them I say “Nah bro. Leave gay people alone. You’re the problem.”

Now I don't confess to understand all of the issues LGBT people face, nor am I here to tell you all about their plight etc because nope, I don't live their life. 

Not being gay myself and quite a heavy way on the A-typical Alpha-Male scale, I like to think that every single person on this planet (except for the ones who should be hunted for sport – i.e. child molesters and women beaters) deserve the right to be who they are, without persecution or difficulties based solely on sexual preference.

I use the word “preference” sparingly here too as even not being gay, I know it’s not a preference, it’s just who they are, who they are attracted to. Simple. Same as being straight.

Perhaps this is a naive approach, wanting people to be treated equally. Doesn't mean I can't say it though, right? If one person reads this post and goes "yeah, okay. You might have something there. Maybe I shouldn't be mean to that gay dude/chick" then awesome.

Progress. 

I am lucky to have had a few individuals and friends “come-out” to me through the years in my role as a manager of people, a mentor and as a friend. 

Sometimes it has been due to persecution that has prompted these tough discussions. Sometimes it has been the “I get written-off/don’t get opportunities because of how I am/I am gay” or “my manager is uncomfortable around me but doesn’t know why”. 

Other times it’s just been because (well, I like to think this anyway) I’m approachable and literally don’t care.

Yup – you read that right. “I don’t care”. 

Not even a little bit. Makes zero difference. 

Like veganism. 

Or gym posters who feel the need to update Facebook every time they go. 

Or foot fetish folks, or swingers. 

Or even if you're straight. 

Whatever. 

Couldn’t care less. 

And nor should you haters. 

Nobody should be defined by their sexuality as a human being. LGBT people – just like straight people – should be defined by who they are, not who they sleep with.

If you are LGBT and you’re not being treated fairly, then you should speak up. Find someone who will listen. But tread softly to begin with. Civilisation is filled with conflict-avoiding people. Confronting such issues can make people nervous. But if you’re not being treated like straight people simply because of being gay (and nothing to do with you being a dick or being difficult) then you need to have those discussions.

Now don’t get me wrong. This “I don’t care” attitude I have doesn’t mean what it sounds like in the negative sense. I am happy for you, proud you had the bravery to come out, honoured to be included, honoured to be someone you felt you could talk to and always happy for your friendship, but again – I will feel the same way if you’re a straight person or a vegan. And, only if you’re a nice person.

Like my Mum taught me when talking with women “don’t stare at boobs, concentrate on a woman’s face when you talk to her” to ensure I give people the right amount of respect, and that the word “hate” (which I was certain didn’t exist in our house growing up because hate was too strong of a word to be used, “dislike something” was better), I’m not kidding here. Sexuality should make zero difference to how you interact or function in the world.

If you are a nice person, then just be awesome. If not, you don’t deserve my time or anyone else’s until you sort your shit out. 

But again, I still won’t hate you. I will likely just dislike you a lot.

Thanks Mum x

This method of thinking should be the same for everyone else, so I would like to spread the word.

People shouldn’t care that you are gay or vegan.

You should have the opportunity to be unique just like everyone else.

I would like to propose that if you are a homophobe, religious zealot (did you know that even the Pope is okay with LGBT folks now?) or a right-wing hate monger, now is the time to challenge your views. Just look around - things are-a-changin'. Get on board the rainbow bus.

Look toward treating each and every person you meet with respect, with the opportunity to show you who they are as a person, and not to be defined simply by your feelings about their sexual/emotional relationship preference. 

Doesn’t everyone deserve the chance to prove who they are and what they’re capable of? Even you as a hater?

What if that next openly gay man or woman you wrote off or put down, could have been destined to cure cancer? But they can’t now because your hurtful words/actions took away their confidence? 

What if they committed suicide because of the hateful words you said? 
Think that your version of the "Vengeful" God you keep bringing up who - according to your views - "hates gays" is going to be happy with you on your day of judgement?

From what I know about religion, 100% of them all talk about "do unto others as you would have done unto you" which essentially translates to "be nice to people, dont be a dick". 

For you extremists out there, are you sure you're 100% right in your persecution of LGBT individuals? Certain enough to bet your eternal soul on? 

Regardless of your reply, consider this as a scenario. 
Maybe they’re in that café whilst you’re chugging back on a donut and you start to choke, you gonna stop them saving your life because they’re gay? 
He or she could be a doctor, or a nurse.

"No no, I'd rather die than have you anywhere near me"

Sound legit? Again, I'm betting no. 
I'm betting when your life is on the line, the guy or girl could be Pricilla Queen of the Desert gay and you'd take their help.

Now consider that a secretly gay person is teaching your kids at school, teaching them how to read/write/spell and be worthwhile, well-rounded citizens of the world. 

And a big point to know here - thing is, young kids don’t care when someone is gay. It’s only a learned behaviour from the adults around them. Like racism. 

Do you think it's your goal in life to teach persecution and hate to your kids?  

Could be that your friend or maybe co-worker is working alongside you right now is LGBT, and you just don’t know. Your attitude has him/her/undefined too afraid to be honest with you.

So com'on. Empathy people. Acceptance. We’re all on this planet together.

Take my (and my Mum’s) advice.

Hate is far too strong of a word to use. It’s time to stop using it – or at least point it in another more positive direction. Use it as a wake-up call. 

If you hate something, find out about it, research. Often hatred comes from not understanding something. Break the cycle, let people be and teach your kids right.

And FFS, stop caring about people’s sexual preferences. It doesn’t matter. Only people matter.

End of story. [mic drop]

Good advice and a few observations for a Friday (apologies for the swearing)

Bikes, Bikes and more Bikes

When you go on holiday...

Relationship help from Star Wars

I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so...

Hey you :) good to see you again. I like what you've done with your hair. Looks good. No really. Check that out.

So back from holiday now, bit shattered, timeline all screwed up since I've written this at almost midnight, but you bet, I'm still grinning from ear to ear. Had the best time with my family, Japan is amazing in every way I could describe. 

Andrea, Trey, Finn and I boosted over there - and when I say "boosted" I really mean "sit in a flying cylinder for 11 hours straight trying to either sleep, get comfortable, watch something entertaining or all at the same time" - for an adventure / intrepid journey type holiday. Been a dream of mine for many years.

And boy was it incredible.

Here are a few of the things we managed to do;

Lego-land, Disneyland, Edo-Tokyo Museum with an english speaking guide, the Hato Bus tour taking in the Imperial Castle, the Sensoji Temple and a river cruise, shopping in Shibuya, went to the geek (Otaku) centre of Tokyo where the boys bought lots of Dragon Ball Z figures each, rode the Shinkansen (bullet train) from Tokyo to Kyoto (yes its fast), visited the Tenryuji Temple, the Arashiyama bamboo grove, fed the monkeys running free around us up on top of a mountain in falling snow, went to the Fushimi Inari-Taisha shrine and to a Samurai Performance (with a ninja included). We went to Osaka, visited the castle, the Aquarium and went shopping in Dotonbori. We ate crazy stuff, caught up with a great friend of mine who I've known since kindergarten (preschool) and his lovely wife and walked at least a ba-zillion miles.

All in 8-9 days. Talk about gettin' in and gettin' it done! 

Would I go again? You betcha! Loved it. 

But why did I love it? For me the thing was, even in the crazy busy centres where there are hundreds if not thousands of people bustling along, there is still a underlying peace there. A softness, a calm beneath the hustle and bustle. People still rushed, urgency was still present, it just seemed that the majority of people were simply enjoying what they were up to.  

Am I romanticising? Maybe a little. Still recovering from jet lag. But regardless, imagined or not, there was a smoothness and efficiency to things you don't get here. 

The thing that really sold it for me was, wasn't the places we visited or the things we did. It was more than that. It was the one thing that stood tall above everything else.

Japan seems to be a nation of helpful and genuinely kind people.

So many times we must have looked confused or lost trying to negotiate the multi-coloured Spaghetti Bolognese lines that are the Japanese rail system (which are also written in Japanese). It never took long before we were approached out of the blue by people asking us if we needed help, many who only spoke a tiny fraction of English. One older gentleman even walked about two blocks with us to get us to our destination before happily bowing then setting back off in the direction we had come from. No issue. 

This happened so many times that this cultural difference has had me wondering about our own backyard. 

Would that happen in NZ? 

The answer - yes, of course it does. But certainly not as often as it should.

Ask yourself: how many times have I walked past someone who looked lost? Or confused? Especially obvious visitors to our country? 

I'll bet lots. I know I have, haven't given them a second thought. People visibly upset however, I've always tried to stop and help if I've been able to.

In Japan - as far as I could tell given our brief stay - ignoring someone in distress isn't an option. Even if the distress is minimal like confusion looking at maps. They seemed to have a need to ensure visitors to their country enjoyed their stay. It could have been patriotism, a cultural growth or any number of things. 

Rather than complain about the (very) tall different looking barbarians, both young and old, English speaking or not, made an effort to smooth things out for us.

It was refreshing, even confronting at times given language barriers. But amazing. Inspiring.

So this led me to start paying attention to visitors to NZ (of which I'm sure there will be increasing numbers of given the latest lot of idiot Trump initiatives) to see if I can make a difference like the nice people in Japan did for my family and I.

Paying it forward. And now I'm encouraging you to do the same whether you are here in NZ with me, or somewhere else in the world.

How good do you think it will feel if you are able to help make someone's trip to NZ that little bit more stress free? Simple directions, a kind word. 

I'll bet you'll try, its why you come to read these posts I put up. You're a helper, just like me. 

Finishing up this wordy post, here are a few pics from our intrepid journey to the land of the rising sun, which incidentally I actually got to see as we flew in at sunrise.

Kyoto Samurai Experience

Tokyo pretend "Geisha" at the Sensoji Shrine

Anime "Gundam" statue

On the Shinkansen Bullet Train

Fushimi Inari-taisha shrine - Kyoto

Osaka Castle

Feeding the monkeys at Arashiyama Monkey Park

A great dinner out in Osaka at the restaurant "EN"

Please don't forget - if you can - help the odd tourist here and there when you see them struggling with anything. As a patriot of our own country or just as a good person, its the least we can all do.

Have a great day. Thanks for stopping by.

Daz

A thank you, to you

If you are reading this, it means you're likely one of the ones who come by regularly for a quick read, a laugh, maybe out of sheer morbid curiosity wondering what on earth I'm going to write about or say next, or maybe you come along because this stuff works for you.

Whatever the reason, thank you so much for popping by. This is the last blog I'll write for 2016. 

It seems fitting that this is a post especially directed to you.

It is a genuine heartfelt thank you for all the times you messaged me to tell me how much my post/s have meant to you, how they made a difference to you or for a family member or friend to whom you copied the posts, sent it to them and it helped them too. 

Thank you for all the times you clicked "like" or commented on the posts that have kept the momentum going and added to the discussions and fostered more of the openness I've been trying to generate. 

When there are no likes or comments, it would usually mean that no one is reading, but as I've found out, some is simply because you didn't want to be seen as having "anxiety" or being "stressed" by being connected to a post about it. I am glad you were able to speak to me about that though, a confession of sorts that let me know that yes, you do have it but that the post helped you. These conversations are truly amazing to have and worth much more than any clicks.

I thank you for clicking by for a simple read, maybe just to pass the time. 

To you reading this, I wish you and your family and friends an amazing and spectacular Merry Christmas and New Year. You deserve it. 

2017 is going to be an amazing year for all of us, and of course we all have lots to do, challenges to overcome and successes to embrace and be proud of. A positive attitude can help deal with almost any obstacle you might face. 

But please remember during anything not-so-awesome; without some bad times happening every now and again, how can we truly appreciate the good when it comes along? Makes them all the sweeter when you think about it.

Now I'm working through this year, so if you do ever need to talk, feel free to message me. If I can't help in some way, I know lots of people who can. I'm no counsellor nor professionally trained, but sometimes its just good to have someone listen. I've got ears. I'm told they work.

A little note for those of you who have it a bit rough right now. I know there are a fair few of you out there in inter-web land. Please take care of yourself, stay true, dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it, try to look for any positive things you can make happen (no matter how small) in the situations you're in, and look after those who need you. 

Keep on keeping on, you got this. You can make it through. The opinions of others are not yours to own. Remember who you are and where you came from. 

You've always been a lot stronger than you've given yourself credit for. 

For everyone else, if you see someone in need, offer to help. Sometimes just having someone ask and offer support can make all the difference in the world.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and stay safe. Kinda like having you around.

​Take care of you and yours. ​Bring on 2017.​

Darren