So just the other day I was reading a couple of different articles on the subject of teenagers/tweens, looking to help my son who - like most tweens - is dealing with things like his friends not being very friendly at times, peer pressure, schoolwork, teachers, relationships with girls, trouble with a parent (no, not me), which menu to choose from (kids or adults) when his tastes are still developing, not to mention him finding out where his place is in the world, what he believes in, meaning of life, how to handle conflict, fear of the dark etc.
Yup, good times. Sometimes frustrating. All the time, supportive.
But it struck me, being young nowadays is a lot different than when I was young, or even when you were, no matter how old you are now.
iPhone's in the hands of 12 year olds is common place as is the "I deserve everything without working for it" mentality, its like a virus that spreads no matter how well you "parent". It's much like the combined brain drain of intelligence when a group of boys gets together - they have the ability to get stupider the more of them there are, no matter how smart their IQ's might be.
Times have changed...okay, maybe not by that much. I think the boys hanging out n getting stupid thing might be more ongoing...and I should know. I've tried roof surfing and nailing a skateboard deck to an old pair of shoes and "skiing" with an actual ski rope behind a panel van doing 30 kmph...
But in saying that, for today's youth, there's no more jumping from cow poo to cow poo just to keep your feet warm on the way to the bus in the freezing mornings. Or five hundred miles to walk to school etc
Now, I'm not havin' some old man rant by any means, not my style and no, I'm not old. These articles just got me thinking.
The pressures and expectations seem to be very different now than they were a decade ago, and they will be again with every new generation. Yes, there are always the normal similarities of course, but the way kids think (especially with the introduction of Facebook, twitter, snap-chat and the more "now" society we live in) has altered things somewhat and had an effect.
Knowing that there are a lot of parents, grandparents, uncles and aunties, older sisters, brothers, extended family etc who sometimes stress out for the tweens/teenagers in our lives, I thought you might like a read of what I found, plus a challenge at the end.
Both articles came in the form of;
"What would you tell your 12-13 year old self if you had the chance, knowing what you know now?"
A few of the ones I found were;
Use your voice when you have something perceptive to add. Don't be afraid, because others will be using theirs. It is better to be heard than drowned out by some who are just being loud just to be heard, not because they actually have anything worthwhile to say.
"Different" does not mean wrong, different is just that.
Fear of the unknown should be embraced - you're about to experience something brand new that you have never done/experienced before - lucky you! But be careful.
Regarding equality: You deserve it. It's not conditional. You don't have to exchange anything in order to qualify for it. It's yours. Take it, and make no apologies for doing so. There are times when you'll need to apologise for the things you've done, but don't ever apologise for demanding to be treated like a human being. Don't let the fear of retribution chip away at your voice until you wake up one day and realise that you've forgotten how to speak.
Regarding strength: You will meet people in this world who will try to convince you that you have none. They need you to be weak because it's the only way they can feel any power over you. But you are stronger than anyone could possibly imagine. You are bright and fierce and beautiful and your feelings matter. YOU matter. And you are not alone.
Work harder. Surpass expectations. Ask for help when you need it.
Enjoy the little moments; celebrate all the good things that happen to you, no matter how small.
Listen to others when they speak no matter what their role in your life. Sometimes the greatest advice comes from the least likely place.
Now if I had to talk to me at 12-13, here are a couple I would have to add;
You will not die a horrible death when you ask out that smoking hot popular girl and your voice goes from Barry White to Barry Gibb (Bee Gees). Your face - no matter how red - will probably not explode.
Putting hand-fulls of cutlery into a microwave and putting it on HIGH for 5 minutes is NOT a good idea. Yes the sparks will be kinda cool and hypnotically pretty, but the smoke pouring from the front and sides will not. Nor will the look on your Dad's face. Or the Fireman's.
It is not the best idea to pop a fully inflated dead cow that has bloat and been sitting there for a few days waiting to be picked up. Yellow and green are not flattering colours against your skin tone. Nor is an aroma that makes other living things cry.
It is also not the greatest plan to stab a fully inflated Hilux 4x4 tyre with a steak knife "like in the movies" just to see what happens. It will be loud. It will be painful. As will the five finger marks be on your leg. Also - yes, Adults can run A LOT faster than you think.
It is likely Mum WILL NOT appreciate the fine construction of the metal sharpened ninja stars you make in metalwork. Nor will she appreciate how amazing it will be that you are able to throw them around the house with such mind-numbing accuracy and not smash a single picture on the wall. And no, the "holes" will not add character to the house.
And finally, coolness and popularity are not the be all and end all. All those popular cool kids - some who want you to hang with them, others who tried to put you down - will not be the most successful people in life you know.
There's my turn. If you were able to go back in time and have a conversation with your 12-13 year old self.....
What would you tell you?
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