How to handle Conflict - introduction

If you are within NZ, there is a fantastic Assistance Programme that you can visit at http://www.eapservices.co.nz/ or phone them on 0800 327 669 to make appointments if you are struggling with anything you might need help with. 

If you or someone you know is dealing with any kinds of domestic violence, sexual assault, abuse or are fearful for your well being, reach out for help and please call the Police.

Okay, so here is the big one. Topic numero uno.

CAUTION - EAT AND DRINK AT REGULAR INTERVALS

I'm breaking this one up into four parts since it's such a huge topic to cover. 

Each post will deal with the four steps I believe will assist you in most charged conflicts and minor conflicts outside of work (i.e. general arguments that don't escalate) and including some of the minor irritations that happen when dealing with people in general.

Now, CONFLICT. 

This subject comes up more than any other in my one on one coaching sessions that I have with my team every month.  I am also asked about conflict resolution often outside of work too. 

I'm no expert but I do have a fair amount of experience in this area, both from a physical and mental standpoint. For those of you that don't know, I reasonable background in a wide range of martial arts from Wing Chun and Muay Thai to Ninjitsu and Jiu Jitsu with a few in between. 

I used to fight-train instructors for upcoming tournaments at one point, but now I'm more of a free n easy breezy consultant. I don't teach much anymore except for my son and my partner's, a.k.a "the Finn-jah-ninja".

A fact most don't seem to know is that 90% of all martial arts are mentally based, not physical. 

I spent literally hours and hours just talking with my numerous instructors, learning how they thought, how they saw the world from their Asian/Western/Thai perspectives, spending much more time doing that than I ever did physically training. 

Ever since I have been bringing some of their wisdom into my various work roles, into coaching sessions and now to you via these posts. 

I'm often asked about how to handle things that generally happen outside of work but that end up having a continuing impact stress-wise on people inside of work. 

Conflicts are the bane of humanity and big or small, they can tie you in knots before, during and after. 

For big stuff, I always advise for people to seek professional help with counsellors and offer the Law where applicable. 

Counselling is a great place to start and I can assure you, I doubt any counsellors would ever get you to lay down on the couch and talk about your Mother. Unless you're there about your Mother of course...then that's a different story.

But this has been the introduction....read on.