Weird Al - now here's a clever guy.

Tacky - cover of happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsWo8apgLys 

Word Crimes - a cover of blurred lines
http://youtu.be/8Gv0H-vPoDc 



And a classic;
White and Nerdy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9qYF9DZPdw

And a favourite of mine from his movie "UHF" - click the link.
Spatula City


Have a great day!

You can request topics now! We hit the 500 mark!

..and no, I don't mean a guy named Mark with a tee shirt that has the number 500 on it. Jeez, you lot are so literal... 

A huge heartfelt thank you for reading!

It is humbling to know that my posts have been read over 500 times since I started this attempt at helping people, only just last month. 

(and yes, I did always activate the "don't count your own views" option)  

I have the BIG happy, all thanks to you. 



Now I know that 500 views in the blogging world certainly isn't much at all, but 500 people reading what I've written? From my home country New Zealand, from Australia, the United States of America, from the UK, Germany, Ukraine, Japan, Netherlands...

So to mark this crazy milestone (over and above the use of excessive animations in this post), I would like to offer you the chance to suggest what you would like me to cover in future ones. 

So we're gonna try "by request", see how it goes.

Simply add your Topic using the comments function.
Try it. 

I'll do my best to give you some insight, as always from my point of view and if nothing comes in, then I'll just keep truckin' along. 

No pressure. All going well, we'll both pick up some new skills or reaffirm some existing ones.

Thanks again to you. 

This freaked out "whoa-happy" sensation feels pretty good.

Chur 

("Chur" is kiwi slang for choice bro' or I'm real happy about this, thank you)

Depends on how you're lookin' at stuff...

LIGHTS AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Further to the "attitude" thing I keep goin' on about, there is ALWAYS a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dark or scary and it's (almost) NEVER an oncoming train. 

And even if it is an oncoming train - get off the track, egg. Whatta-you-stoopid? Tracks are crazy places to stand.

But hey, metaphorically, any train (aka problem) can be handled one way or another. It's all in the way you deal with it.

Lets take someone for example - Me.

Yup - 6 ft 2 inches of "me-ness". 
And no, you can't take the "me" out of that statement and put in a "p" instead. Stop being difficult...sheesh.

Now like I've alluded to in previous posts, I'm the kinda guy who does my best when I'm in the corner with no way out. Put me up against the ropes and yup, I'll fight back every single time. It's in my nature. It's the same with ultimatums - not keen on those either because I'm being told "or else". Me, I'll always choose "or else". I know this about myself. I think its some kind of mischief gene I've was born with.

But what about you?  
When do you get that feeling and your determination kicks in?  In any crisis, when are you at your best? What are your strengths?

Is it when you're told "Nah, you can't do that, you're not tough/smart/skilled etc enough, it will win and you will lose" - does that get you standing up and proving them wrong?

Or maybe you're that girl or guy who as soon as a problem fronts up, you analyse the shit out of it and solve it before it even gets a chance to overwhelm you?

Regardless of when you're at your best, step one should be figuring this out. By defining your rock'n'roll skills, you get the option to - when a problem rises - hit it hard and fast since you already know the best way of approaching it first.  

Lead with your strengths so to speak...I know a few of mine :) 

Once you have this sorted, changing your attitude toward any oncoming train/ problem - is your greatest asset, it's like another super-power.

Every problem that comes your way is just another challenge and another opportunity to  work your new attitude mojo, stressing out over it for hours on end is just another big waste of time..

Now life as it can be, you might find yourself in multiple tunnels with multiple lights from time to time.

But for every time this happens - work on improving your attitude toward it and trust that there is no train, just a chance or an opportunity to rock on with your bad self.

Awareness/Attitude (1) + Trust yourself/no train (2) = Handle the Jandal  

It all really comes down to simple logic in the end.

Whatever it is that is annoying you, has upset you, has thrown you into crisis mode, you can 100% trust that it can't possibly stay that way because sooner or later, history and logic states it absolutely has to change.

And here's that pearl of wisdom again.

The old generic Chinese proverb that states, "Change is change only". 

And if you don't like that, try this - "Everything has to change, it's neither positive nor negative but it is unavoidable no matter what it is, so best handle the jandal best you can and try steering the change in the best direction." 

You choose how you react to everything and look for positives when it does. 

Sounds hard, right? 

Naaaaaaaaaaaaah, not even oww. 

Like everything, practice makes perfect and start on the little things, don't go tackling the big issues straight away. Be kinda like trying to stop a train with a fly swat. Not gonna work...well, unless you're using it on the train driver.  You get my point.  Start small.

To illustrate this a little clearer.

Case in point (and if any of my team are reading this, odds are you've heard this doozy already.)

Let's call this "The Shampoo Bottle Incident".

To set the scene. It's reasonably early in the morning, everyone in my house is sound asleep. It's peaceful, quiet. There might or might not be a young deer and its mother prancing along outside my bedroom window to some Disney children's movie soundtrack. 

I get up out of bed as I need to start work early, got a big day ahead. 
Head into the bathroom, reach in and turn on the shower. So far so good. Got my suit ready, some socks, boxer shorts, belt, pair of shoes etc - all ready.

I am literally tip-toeing around the house, being considerate to my family and letting them sleep, tucked up nice and warm. A field mouse would've been envious of just how amazingly quiet I was being, stealth training coming in handy. You could've heard that field mouse fart at a hundred metres if he/she was a bit gassy. 

But you know mornings, I was still feeling a bit face-smashed and waking up, I grabbed a towel, flicked the extractor fan on (it's reasonably quiet too) and I stripped. 

We have our shower over our bath, just to set more of the scene for you. On this morning, I even risked the smile of the somewhat satisfied since the water was running nice and warm. Warm shower, clothes ready. Great day.

However, as I climbed into the shower, my toe just so happened to catch a half-empty shampoo bottle and sent it flicking up into the air. 
Down it fell toward the empty bath.

The first hit, my whole world changed. 

Have you ever heard just how loud a half empty plastic bottle can be as it hits a bath, bounces, hits again and then at least 4 more times?

Yes, it was Loud. REAL LOUD. Wake the dead, dudes been in a coma for a billion years and has just been woken up by this noise loud.

My first reaction? 

You guessed it - I had the "soundless scream of the utterly and truly tormented", backed up with a little bit of "how the @#!%$# could this happen?? Damn you !#@%@!% shampoo bottle!!"

I had tried so hard to be quiet, and was now worried I had woken Andrea, Trey and Finn, my love for them had me being so quiet in the first place. 

Luckily however, none of them woke up.  A few seconds passed and I had calmed down. Whew. Crisis averted. Take a breath. World returned slowly to normal.

But Yeah... Nope.  I should've known.

Immediately after I re-set the shampoo bottle back into its normal spot and started climbing back into the shower again...it seemed the Gods of Shampoo and Conditioner had decided they were most displeased with me.

I'm normally a calm, cruisey and patient kinda guy but this sent me from about 0.1 on the Richter scale to around 10 in less than a nano-second.

I thought I might actually EXPLODE with rage. 

And to make matters worse, the shampoo bottle bounced around even louder than the first time like atomic bombs going off.

I swear I got caught in the concussion blasts. 

All of my pent up anger was leveled directly at this inanimate object with all the fury one man could muster. 

Had I been holding my samurai sword - and no, this is not some awkward reference given I was completely naked at the time - it would have been all over save for the bad pained expression.

This rage in hindsight was so stupid since "I" was 100% the cause of the noise, not the bottle. 

Bottles can't think, or fall over on their own. Nor (far as I know) do they have their own Gods, not even ones angry at me.

But at 6:30am when my normal quiet skills had failed me? 

I was briefly unable to process logic at all. 

Angry monster time. 

I'd fully boarded the Nope-train to Screw-that-ville where I was determined to become Mayor. 

But this now raises my question about oncoming trains, crisis and problems.

If I hadn't adjusted my thinking toward the shampoo bottle and calmed down, if I had carried on being angry and frustrated by something so simple, how do you think the rest of my day would have gone....?

Mmmmmm. Yeah, that's deep, in that shallow, here look at this obvious thing you can't miss kinda way.

But to finish off this post, I do have one more question for you;

Just how many of your own days have been ruined, or have been more stressed out, simply because you got hung up on the fact you were dealing with a train that you think hit you?

That's what I thought.... Wasted days, wasted on a stubborn desire to cling to negativity.

Awareness/Attitude (1) + Trust yourself/no train (2) = Handle the Jandal  

Go on, try the positive approach, give it a shot. 

Never know how your day might change.

Mine did.

You've been looking at this the wrong way...

True Story

Challenge the way you think

Hi!

Yup, its me again. You're looking well? That a new top? It's nice. Suits you.

Thanks for coming back. Gets kinda quiet around here with out you.

Not sure if you've done this kinda thing before but Blogging is a seriously weird thing to do, all work with very little get back. And no, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. 

Let me explain...

Blogging is kinda like some weird science experiment that has no idea on what it is you want to prove (if anything) and has no scientific basis at all. Looking for litmus paper? Wont find any here. What about a Bunsen burner or some crazily arranged beakers. Nope, nadda.

With every post you "send out there" you just feel a bit like some crazy lab coat wearing scientist clinging on to the fact that MAYBE...yes, MAYBE someone out there in the big wide world is your reading your theories and somehow proving them right.  

I must add however, that I am in no way a likening myself to an actual scientist wearing a lab-coat here either. I do have a dressing gown if that helps though, but its blue...and it's fluffy. My Mother in Law bought it for me a few years back and look, I'm pretty sure she didn't buy it for me to do weird experiments in it or be looking to try and take over the world... 

Anyway, this post is to begin touching on the topics of "perspective" and "perception" that could help you see the world in a slightly different way. I promise there will be no further mentions of dressing gowns either. That just got a lil' tooooo awkward.

Now, as always, ideas discussed in these posts may prove useful if you are finding yourself stuck in a rut or even feeling overwhelmed. Or under-whelmed.

1. Perception/Perspective – soooo....what about them Horoscopes aye?

Right, I'll bet that right about now you're thinking to yourself "Yeah, big guy has lost it" or maybe "I'm stopping right here cause I don't believe in any of this $!%" 

And nope, I wouldn't blame you one bit. On the surface, it all seems a little odd. But is that the kind of person you are? Surface?

Naaaaaah. I don't think so.

So, you might wanna hear me out. Whether you subscribe to the I-Ching, horoscopes, fortune cookies, the eight ball, magic undies, astrology or nothing at all and don't believe in any of it because its rubbish, sometimes reading such generalised statements can be useful...as an exercise.

Again, already figure you're getting ready to click elsewhere, but don't. There is method in my madness.

To illustrate a point about perception and perspectives, horoscopes are ideal. 

Whether you like them or not, and whether or not you think they're the "tool of the devil I's tell's yah!!", they do have the ability to challenge your thinking if nothing else. 

Sometimes they can even enhance your awareness of an action or emotion, even if it's only for the very second you are reading it and no more. 

And yes, they are only gross generalisations designed to invoke those emotions of "hope" and "excitement", they want to hook you into coming back, or maybe hooking you into purchasing a "reading" from Madam Wobble-bottom. If a horoscope happens to be right on one day, it's luck people, a coincidence.

But, for this post please remember - Open minds let new ideas in and are better for it. 

Which leads us to exercise time.

Go read your horoscope for today. Google it or something. 

Odds are extremely high that it will be this gross generalisation I mentioned that does not actually commit to anything in particular, but a lot of things all at once. It might also be very specific - reason for this is, is the wider the readership, the greater chance they have of "getting somebody" with the wow, they got it right! factor.

Below is mine for the day I wrote this.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Don't confuse publicity with facts. Also, be careful not to mistake people for the roles they are playing. You'll make the smartest decisions when you base them on the underlying truth of things.

Okay, time for a "Perception and Perspective lesson".

Read your own horoscope (or mine) and copy and paste it onto a blank word doc. 

Delete the star sign stuff (in my one, delete the VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) so that only the statement remains.

Now ask yourself - if this statement was written by a noted scholar, a renowned wise man/woman, a trusted person or famous celebrity rather than some random horoscope person, would this statement have more merit? Would it be easier to accept as truth, rather than be ridiculed as crap?

The answer is undoubtedly YES. 

Say hello to perception slash perspective class, one-oh-one.

Now picture me in my dressing gown, messy hair, just woken up.  
What do you think about all this stuff I've written about now? Less buy in right? 

Now picture me wearing the suit I'm actually wearing (yes, I'm serious) - it's black, a blue tailored shirt underneath my single breasted jacket, and now think. 

I look like a professional. I must be right about what I'm posting.

The clothes don't make the man, they only change the perception of the man. The man makes the man. It's not rocket science, it's just in-your-face logic. 

Looking at the things around you in the world, like most, you'll make judgement calls on pretty much everything you see. But how often are they right?

Consider the homeless man. One look and you're looking away, trying not to make eye-contact. But was he always homeless? What was he before? He might've been someone trying to avoid eye contact with you...

Now think about the famous person, the celebrity. How would you feel if you led their life? On the surface, it'd be fantastic, all that money and fame, private jets, hanging with other celebs. Amazing. 
Now go below the surface and you start having to consider lack of freedoms, paparazzi, stalkers... 

Perception and perspective are two vitally important things you as a human being need to consider, every. single. day.

I'll finish up with the "what's in it for me" feature - how does this all apply to you? 

How about I give you a minute to ponder this question with a few friendly nudges to your ribs…

Go look at yourself in a mirror. Really look at yourself. Consider who YOU are and what you do.

• If you act the fool all the time, will your idea's be treated as if you know what you are talking about? Like you're smart. Do you think anyone will listen to you? 
• If you make a mistake and cover it up, but are then found out, how do you think people view you?
• Caught lying, get well busted, how will this impact how others work in with you?  How your friends view you?
• If you always just complain but never provide solutions, how might this change the way people react to positive suggestions you might make (if you ever do)?
• Work hard and always give your all, how do you think people view you then?
• Stand up for yourself constructively and become known for being honest, do you think that would make you trustworthy?
• If you were to stand looking in through a window at a group of all your friends hanging out together, with you picking out the strongest, kindest and most like-able...would you choose you too if you were in there with them?

What kind of person are you, my favourite blog reader?

.....are you a horoscope written by Madam wobble-bottom...?

…or do you have more merit than that...?

Year of the Horse

Welcome to the year of the wooden horse.

"Jeeez Darren, Horoscopes, Chinese New Year, what's next? Migrating patterns of geese?"

No, and a little yep. Look, I know how this must look….but read on. I am onto something here.

2014 to the descendants of the dragon (the Chinese people) state that we are all now in the year of the Wooden Horse. Now, quite unlike horoscopes sit in our perceptions, the Chinese philosophers were (and are) perceived as very smart and legends at seeing things we mere non-philosophers often cannot. 

Proverbs for instance regularly contain a high level of self (and external) awareness's.

According to such writings about 2014, this year can "bring an ambiance of excitement, yet it can also cause a quickness to get angry when things go awry".

Yes, this is the exact same potential as any other year – but good to read as it can create a minor amount of alertness for us about it like I alluded to in the post about horoscopes. 

Being aware of something – even if its only its potential (just like those horoscopes) can help you deal with things that are likely to confront you on any given year, not just this one.

They also say about 2014 "to watch out for extremes of emotion" and that "you can choose how to act on your feelings, be the rider who is in control of the Horse". 

Again, sage advice for any year, and again a generalisation much the same as horoscopes. Seeing some similarities? 

Now to clarify slightly on the horse thing, as you know, back in ancient times when so many of these things were written, a Horse was an important mode of transport, a means of getting for point A to point B. 

Nowadays, we get into a car. This is a surface statement, no depth, takes it for what it says and no analysis. Journeys from A to B can also be taken in ourselves - often referred to as personal growth.
These statements are simply asking you (and often themselves);

1. Would it be a better choice to let excitement or anger sit in your passenger seat, rather than the driver's seat?

2. Alternatively, perhaps it would be a great idea not pick anger up in the first place?

Again, all very clear and sound in the thinking.

The point I'm making is simply if you view all these things (horoscopes, proverbs, books, teachings by others, conversations you have, life experiences, everything) as open challenges to your thinking, then you can change your perspective on how you view them.

Knowing how you fit (or how you want to fit in) is the first step in all personal and professional growth.

But here is the kicker - 

You have to change your own perceptions of others, in order to be perceived differently by others yourself.

Yep. Think about it...

If you are treating someone with care and concern when you once would have scolded them constantly, once the initial skepticism and fear subsides, that someone may well view you just as differently as you now view them.

Whether you like it or not, more often than we give credit for, other people can be reflections of ourselves and the attitudes we put out there. Try it - go into a room full of people you know and act pissed off, or depressed, or stressed out.

I'm betting some of how you are feeling will rub off on those around you.

As you go about your day today, keep this one in mind if you can.

See you back here later.

What the...?

Attitude is ALWAYS your saving grace

Hi there all,

Bit of a disclaimer to start with. 

Topics I cover here in these posts are simply personal observations and are not intended to be professional counselling, condescending or upsetting, they are simply things I sometimes cover in my Manager one on one sessions with my staff that people down through the years have found helpful. To be clear - this is not some narcissistic attempt to gain fame or be "all that" and push my profile. I simply have a helpful nature. True story.

These posts have come about from every other day seeing rough times Facebook posts from friends and acquaintances, reading sad articles and seeing close friends, family and other people struggling with things they haven't been able to get their heads around. 

Tough times are tough times, been through a fair few myself. I figured having a place where someone is giving you some back-up to get you on track might be good - hence the blog name "Fall six, get up seven". It's very similar to an old proverb which speaks to underdog/fighter in all of us; 

So, rather than sit back and do nothing, I figured it was time to go big, get in the ring and get global to offer what I can, experience and advice. 

So, if  you are that one person reading these posts that this helps, then cool. I'm happy. 

If not, sweet. 

No harm, no foul.

Disclaimer all done, feel free to read on....

"Attitude is always your saving grace" 

Like everyone who is reading this knows, yep, life can deliver a few hard knocks, get a bit frustrating or just get you tired of being tired. Maybe you haven't had a holiday for a while due to circumstances beyond your control. End of the year can sometimes have this affect too - you've put in 12 months and worked hard, exhausted. Similarly starts of the year can weigh in like pro-fighters with fists the size of your face too. Add to that deaths, divorces and break-ups, teenager issues, work problems etc and all of sudden, feels like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

Needless to say, sometimes pressures can build up and big and small annoyances can feel like mountains in no time flat.

But there is some good news - in just about all cases.

Like the next post about "how do I stop getting annoyed", if you were able to stop and look around, take a few calming breaths, plus deliberately alter how you are viewing things, mountains can get smaller. 

Often people who care about you will act as catalysts by kicking you in the #$% when needed, offering you support you didn't know you had,or maybe you'll just read something that will pick you up just enough to help, all of which will allow you to see differences in your day that you couldn't see when you were upset/angry/frustrated. Its true that anger and fear both cloud judgement.

But you can change that. 

And like the title states, with attitude.

But how? 

Well, in my experience for everyone it's different, but here's some things to get you started.

i) Lame as it sounds, you could tell yourself "I'm in control of how I'm going to handle this" - just dont do this in a mirror. That's weird.

ii) In any situation where you are feeling anxious/afraid/stressed out/annoyed - take a few calming breaths – oxygen is your friend.

iii) Take a step back mentally (and physically if you need to) to get an objective/less stressful look at where you're at, even where others are at.

iv) Often the key to taking the anxiety out of a situation is to ask a question to find out more. Knowing what you're dealing with is better than guessing. "Fear of the unknown" is a common problem - so fix it and ask so its not unknown anymore.

v) Be brutally honest with yourself - try to analyse "why" you feel the way you do about things - may not be the reason you thought.

vi) Make a no-nonsense plan with how you're going to deal with the cause/s with how you will react - either physically or mentally – the actual cause make no difference. Again, you're deciding how you're going to handle this, how you are going to react.

vii) "Attack" your own negativity/fear/anxiety. These things will breed given half the chance. Remember - you're choosing how to react - I can't state this enough - it really is your choice.

viii) Act positively - do what you planned to do - you're taking your own power back from the situation/mood that took it away.

...And surprisingly all these things can literally take seconds to work through.

Now I'm not saying you should be Mr or Ms (Miss, Mrs etc) Positivity or over the top prepared because ridiculously positive people generally get high fives…..to the face…..with chairs…..but a little internal positivity can go a long way.

And once you get into the habit, changing your attitude and the way you view situations gets easier.

Clear heads see clear things.

Now, I'm betting if you've made it this far you're either thinking "sheesh, what's up with this kiwi guy, what a bunch of crap" or "Meh, ok, yeah, I guess that's fairly helpful, he makes a bit of sense" or perhaps this has really helped you.

Either way, just remember, aside from looking after yourself and gettin' your head on straight; 

 Think about it. 

Innovation - when you work with the right people, anything is possible.

What would you tell a younger you, if you could?

​
So just the other day I was reading a couple of different articles on the subject of teenagers/tweens, looking to help my son who - like most tweens - is dealing with things like his friends not being very friendly at times, peer pressure, schoolwork, teachers, relationships with girls, trouble with a parent (no, not me), which menu to choose from (kids or adults) when his tastes are still developing, not to mention him finding out where his place is in the world, what he believes in, meaning of life, how to handle conflict, fear of the dark etc. 

Yup, good times. Sometimes frustrating. All the time, supportive.

But it struck me, being young nowadays is a lot different than when I was young, or even when you were, no matter how old you are now. 

iPhone's in the hands of 12 year olds is common place as is the "I deserve everything without working for it" mentality, its like a virus that spreads no matter how well you "parent". It's much like the combined brain drain of intelligence when a group of boys gets together - they have the ability to get stupider the more of them there are, no matter how smart their IQ's might be. 

Times have changed...okay, maybe not by that much. I think the boys hanging out n getting stupid thing might be more ongoing...and I should know. I've tried roof surfing and nailing a skateboard deck to an old pair of shoes and "skiing" with an actual ski rope behind a panel van doing 30 kmph...

But in saying that, for today's youth, there's no more jumping from cow poo to cow poo just to keep your feet warm on the way to the bus in the freezing mornings. Or five hundred miles to walk to school etc

Now, I'm not havin' some old man rant by any means, not my style and no, I'm not old. These articles just got me thinking. 

The pressures and expectations seem to be very different now than they were a decade ago, and they will be again with every new generation. Yes, there are always the normal similarities of course, but the way kids think (especially with the introduction of Facebook, twitter, snap-chat and the more "now" society we live in) has altered things somewhat and had an effect.

Knowing that there are a lot of parents, grandparents, uncles and aunties, older sisters, brothers, extended family etc who sometimes stress out for the tweens/teenagers in our lives, I thought you might like a read of what I found, plus a challenge at the end. 

Both articles came in the form of;

"What would you tell your 12-13 year old self if you had the chance, knowing what you know now?"

A few of the ones I found were; 

• Use your voice when you have something perceptive to add. Don't be afraid, because others will be using theirs. It is better to be heard than drowned out by some who are just being loud just to be heard, not because they actually have anything worthwhile to say.

• "Different" does not mean wrong, different is just that.

• Fear of the unknown should be embraced - you're about to experience something brand new that you have never done/experienced before - lucky you! But be careful. 

• Regarding equality: You deserve it. It's not conditional. You don't have to exchange anything in order to qualify for it. It's yours. Take it, and make no apologies for doing so. There are times when you'll need to apologise for the things you've done, but don't ever apologise for demanding to be treated like a human being. Don't let the fear of retribution chip away at your voice until you wake up one day and realise that you've forgotten how to speak.

• Regarding strength: You will meet people in this world who will try to convince you that you have none. They need you to be weak because it's the only way they can feel any power over you. But you are stronger than anyone could possibly imagine. You are bright and fierce and beautiful and your feelings matter. YOU matter. And you are not alone.

• Work harder. Surpass expectations. Ask for help when you need it.

• Enjoy the little moments; celebrate all the good things that happen to you, no matter how small.

• Listen to others when they speak no matter what their role in your life. Sometimes the greatest advice comes from the least likely place.

Now if I had to talk to me at 12-13, here are a couple I would have to add;

• You will not die a horrible death when you ask out that smoking hot popular girl and your voice goes from Barry White to Barry Gibb (Bee Gees). Your face - no matter how red - will probably not explode.

• Putting hand-fulls of cutlery into a microwave and putting it on HIGH for 5 minutes is NOT a good idea. Yes the sparks will be kinda cool and hypnotically pretty, but the smoke pouring from the front and sides will not. Nor will the look on your Dad's face. Or the Fireman's.

• It is not the best idea to pop a fully inflated dead cow that has bloat and been sitting there for a few days waiting to be picked up. Yellow and green are not flattering colours against your skin tone. Nor is an aroma that makes other living things cry.

• It is also not the greatest plan to stab a fully inflated Hilux 4x4 tyre with a steak knife "like in the movies" just to see what happens. It will be loud.  It will be painful. As will the five finger marks be on your leg. Also - yes, Adults can run A LOT faster than you think.

• It is likely Mum WILL NOT appreciate the fine construction of the metal sharpened ninja stars you make in metalwork. Nor will she appreciate how amazing it will be that you are able to throw them around the house with such mind-numbing accuracy and not smash a single picture on the wall. And no, the "holes" will not add character to the house. 

• And finally, coolness and popularity are not the be all and end all. All those popular cool kids - some who want you to hang with them, others who tried to put you down - will not be the most successful people in life you know.  

There's my turn. ​If you were able to go back in time and have a conversation with your 12-13 year old self..... 

What would you tell you?