Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Attitude is ALWAYS your saving grace

Hi there all,
Bit of a disclaimer to start with. 
Topics I cover here in these posts are simply personal observations and are not intended to be professional counselling, condescending or upsetting, they are simply things I sometimes cover in my Manager one on one sessions with my staff that people down through the years have found helpful. To be clear - this is not some narcissistic attempt to gain fame or be "all that" and push my profile. I simply have a helpful nature. True story.
These posts have come about from every other day seeing rough times Facebook posts from friends and acquaintances, reading sad articles and seeing close friends, family and other people struggling with things they haven't been able to get their heads around. 
Tough times are tough times, been through a fair few myself. I figured having a place where someone is giving you some back-up to get you on track might be good - hence the blog name "Fall six, get up seven". It's very similar to an old proverb which speaks to underdog/fighter in all of us; 

So, rather than sit back and do nothing, I figured it was time to go big, get in the ring and get global to offer what I can, experience and advice. 

So, if  you are that one person reading these posts that this helps, then cool. I'm happy. 
If not, sweet. 
No harm, no foul.
Disclaimer all done, feel free to read on....
"Attitude is always your saving grace" 
Like everyone who is reading this knows, yep, life can deliver a few hard knocks, get a bit frustrating or just get you tired of being tired. Maybe you haven't had a holiday for a while due to circumstances beyond your control. End of the year can sometimes have this affect too - you've put in 12 months and worked hard, exhausted. Similarly starts of the year can weigh in like pro-fighters with fists the size of your face too. Add to that deaths, divorces and break-ups, teenager issues, work problems etc and all of sudden, feels like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. 

Needless to say, sometimes pressures can build up and big and small annoyances can feel like mountains in no time flat.
But there is some good news - in just about all cases.
Like the next post about "how do I stop getting annoyed", if you were able to stop and look around, take a few calming breaths, plus deliberately alter how you are viewing things, mountains can get smaller. 
Often people who care about you will act as catalysts by kicking you in the #$% when needed, offering you support you didn't know you had,or maybe you'll just read something that will pick you up just enough to help, all of which will allow you to see differences in your day that you couldn't see when you were upset/angry/frustrated. Its true that anger and fear both cloud judgement.
But you can change that. 
And like the title states, with attitude.

But how? 

Well, in my experience for everyone it's different, but here's some things to get you started.
i) Lame as it sounds, you could tell yourself "I'm in control of how I'm going to handle this" - just dont do this in a mirror. That's weird.
ii) In any situation where you are feeling anxious/afraid/stressed out/annoyed - take a few calming breaths – oxygen is your friend.
iii) Take a step back mentally (and physically if you need to) to get an objective/less stressful look at where you're at, even where others are at.
iv) Often the key to taking the anxiety out of a situation is to ask a question to find out more. Knowing what you're dealing with is better than guessing. "Fear of the unknown" is a common problem - so fix it and ask so its not unknown anymore.
v) Be brutally honest with yourself - try to analyse "why" you feel the way you do about things - may not be the reason you thought.
vi) Make a no-nonsense plan with how you're going to deal with the cause/s with how you will react - either physically or mentally – the actual cause make no difference. Again, you're deciding how you're going to handle this, how you are going to react.
vii) "Attack" your own negativity/fear/anxiety. These things will breed given half the chance. Remember - you're choosing how to react - I can't state this enough - it really is your choice.
viii) Act positively - do what you planned to do - you're taking your own power back from the situation/mood that took it away.

...And surprisingly all these things can literally take seconds to work through.

Now I'm not saying you should be Mr or Ms (Miss, Mrs etc) Positivity or over the top prepared because ridiculously positive people generally get high fives… the face…..with chairs…..but a little internal positivity can go a long way.
And once you get into the habit, changing your attitude and the way you view situations gets easier.
Clear heads see clear things.

Now, I'm betting if you've made it this far you're either thinking "sheesh, what's up with this kiwi guy, what a bunch of crap" or "Meh, ok, yeah, I guess that's fairly helpful, he makes a bit of sense" or perhaps this has really helped you.

Either way, just remember, aside from looking after yourself and gettin' your head on straight; 

 Think about it.